Formerly Red Herring

The former Soviet-conquered territory of Estonia has decided to name the herring as their national fish. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard were not particularly fond of kippers when we tried them. But the folks in the Baltic regions have been inflicting them on the world for years.

The humble Baltic herring was chosen over the pike in a government-sponsored contest to find a fish suitable to join the blue, black and white flag, the blue cornflower, limestone, and chimney swallow as national symbols.

"We decided to award the title to the Baltic herring, as it is the fish that has provided a lot of traditional fare to people here," Valdur Noormae, director of the Estonian Fishery Association, said in a statement.

We have absolutely no idea whatsoever why this story made the news wires. But it does give us a chance to comment on the real reason our grandparents immigrated from Norway when they had a chance. We had a chance to eat at the Norwegian restaurant at Epcot Center a few years back. The buffet essentially consisted of various fish prepared in various ways including a lot of variations on herring. We were very pleased that they had real Norwegian aquavit in copious amounts. It helped. A lot. Sadly, the kids were too young to drink. They may forgive me in a few decades.

A Message For Muggers

A 70-year old cruise ship passenger was taking in the sights at Limon, Costa Rica. Pretty typical day trip from one of the cruises, right? Well, a mugger made it a very unusual trip. Wearing a mask the 20-year old street tough, who was well known as a bad actor by the police, tried to hold up a van load of cruise passengers.

And the 70-year old military veteran killed him.

The assault occurred during a ship stopover Wednesday in Limon, 80 miles east of San Jose, Costa Rica's capital.

Adams was with 12 American tourists who hired a driver to explore Costa Rica for a few hours. They were climbing out of the van to visit a Caribbean beach when three masked men ran toward them, she said. One held a gun to her head, while the other two pulled out knives.

Suddenly, one of the tourists, a U.S. military veteran trained in self defense, jumped out of the van and put the gunman in a headlock, according to Limon police chief Luis Hernandez.

Hernandez said the American, whom he refused to identify, struggled with the robber, breaking his collarbone and eventually killing him. Police identified the dead man as Warner Segura, 20. The other two assailants fled.

Afterward, the tourists drove Segura to a hospital, where he was declared dead. Sergio Lopez, a Red Cross auxiliary, examined Segura's body and said he died from asphyxiation.

I know the criminal died in this instance, but I love stories like this. Just like the 70-year old retired British SAS soldier who kicked four attacker's butts in Germany. Thugs who prey on the elderly thinking they make easy targets need more warnings like this. But notice that the passengers also tried to save the mugger's life. Americans are funny that way.

New York City Beaver Hunting Intensifies

We reported on the (completely serious, mind you) report of beaver not being spotted on Long Island. That's right, they wrote articles on not seeing any beavers waddling about. But there is, it turns out, a perfectly logical reason why they did not spot the beaver in Hampton.

It had moved to the Bronx.

Biologists videotaped a beaver swimming up the Bronx River on Wednesday. Its twig-and-mud lodge had been spotted earlier on the river bank, but the tape confirmed the presence of the animal itself.

"It had to happen because beaver populations are expanding, and their habitats are shrinking," said Dietland Muller-Schwarze, a beaver expert at the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry in Syracuse. "We're probably going to see more of them in the future."

Beavers gnawed out a prominent place in the city's early days as a European settlement, attracting fur traders to a nascent Manhattan. The animal appears in the city seal to symbolize a Dutch trading company that factored in the city's colonial beginnings, according to the city's Web site.

It's possible that the animal's cloak of invisibility was on the fritz that day, too. (Just for the record, there is no relation to this post and Britney Spear's Beaver entering rehab).

Animal Uprisingâ„¢ Orders Takeout!

The animal overlords of the Animal Uprising™ appear to have had a yen for some nice takeout chicken. So they sent their loyal minions to get some. This backfired on them when they got a little too much publicity, however.

The rats were caught on video.

NEW YORK - A dozen rats were caught on video scurrying around the floor of a New York City KFC/Taco Bell restaurant early Friday, running between counters and tables and climbing on children's high chairs.

News crews flocked to the windows of the Greenwich Village neighborhood restaurant, which hadn't opened for the day. By midmorning, the footage was all over the Internet and television news shows, with onlookers giving a play-by-play from the sidewalk as the rodents moved about.

"He's coming for his close-up," one bystander said as a rat came near the window.

A statement issued Friday for KFC/Taco Bell said construction in the building's basement on Thursday "temporarily escalated the situation."

The franchise owner "is actively addressing this issue," the statement said, adding that the restaurant will remain closed until the problem is "completely resolved."

"Nothing is more important to us than the health and safety of our customers. This is completely unacceptable and is an absolute violation of our high standard," it said.

I can understand why a fast food establishment would not actually want an endorsement by the Animal Uprising™. But they are being discriminatory, aren't they? After all, it is in Greenwich Village. CBS local coverage here complete with hot and cold running rats on video. The Health Department has formally ordered the restaurant be closed until it passes an inspection.

Vilsack Dropping Out

Iowa Democrat Tom Vilsack is reportedly dropping out of the nomination hunt for 2008. Considering the two 800 pound donkeys in the race, he's better off not wasting his time or the voters. (Put in the names of whomever you want in that donkey statement!)

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Democrat Tom Vilsack is abandoning his bid for the presidency after struggling against better-known, better-financed rivals, a senior campaign official told The Associated Press on Friday.

Vilsack left office in January and traveled through states holding early tests of strength. He had faced a tough challenge from rivals such as New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama and John Edwards, who have had more success raising money and attracting attention — even in Vilsack's home state of Iowa.

Vilsack was scheduled to make a formal announcement later in the day. The official spoke to the AP on condition of anonymity to avoid pre-empting the Democrat's statement.

Vilsack was the first Democrat to formally enter the 2008 race when he announced his candidacy in November. He conceded at the time that he faced a difficult race.

Frankly, he could not have gotten much attention from the power donors in the party. Expect a lot more early dropouts in the near future. I'm betting Biden next.

See?

Some people seem to think that our calm, reasonable warnings about the Animal Uprising™ are meant to be humorous. Others take out restraining orders and make us stop calling them. (We suspect they have gone over to the animals.) We now get fairly regular visits from that nice man from the health department as well offering us stylish, long sleeved white sport coats. (We decline, though, one just doesn't wear white after Labor Day). But now you'll all have to take us seriously! Because the major media is reporting on the Animal Uprising at last!

Spear-wielding, super chimps stabbing things gets their attention!

Chimpanzees living in the West African savannah have been observed fashioning deadly spears from sticks and using the tools to hunt small mammals — the first routine production of deadly weapons ever observed in animals other than humans.

The multistep spearmaking practice, documented by researchers in Senegal who spent years gaining the chimpanzees' trust, adds credence to the idea that human forebears fashioned similar tools millions of years ago.

The landmark observation also supports the long-debated proposition that females — the main makers and users of spears among the Senegalese chimps — tend to be the innovators and creative problem solvers in primate culture.

Using their hands and teeth, the chimpanzees were repeatedly seen tearing the side branches off long, straight sticks, peeling back the bark and sharpening one end. Then, grasping the weapons in a "power grip," they jabbed them into tree-branch hollows where bush babies — small, monkeylike mammals — sleep during the day.

In one case, after repeated stabs, a chimpanzee removed the injured or dead animal and ate it, the researchers reported in yesterday's online issue of the journal Current Biology.

"It was really alarming how forceful it was," said lead researcher Jill D. Pruetz of Iowa State University, adding that it reminded her of the murderous shower scene in the Alfred Hitchcock movie "Psycho." "It was kind of scary."

(A remake of Psycho using an all chimp cast would be brilliant.) So there you have it - validation for all the information we have been bringing to our faithful readership for all this time.

Dell Linux?

Dell Computers new blog is tabulating votes for the most popular changes to Dell products. The leader? Put Linux operating systems on Dell machines instead of Windows. The management of Dell is seriously considering that as well as several other suggestions.

The idea appeared Friday on a company-hosted blog called Dell Idea Storm. CEO Michael Dell unveiled the blog Feb. 16 as part of his effort to reinvigorate the struggling company. Dell said he hoped to use the blog to collect users' feedback and improve customer service.

Since then, company executives and department heads have been monitoring the site, paying closest attention to the ideas winning the most votes, Dell spokeswoman Caroline Dietz said.

Most Popular

The most popular threads yesterday included demands for Linux-based laptops, consumer PCs that are not pre-loaded with unsolicited applications, and requests for Sun Microsystems' OpenOffice applications instead of Microsoft's Office suite. Popular requests also included a preference for Mozilla's Firefox Web browser instead of Microsoft's Internet Explorer, and pleas for Dell to stop routing service calls to operators in overseas countries such as India.

Dell leaders have heard those ideas "loud and clear," and plan to post a statement on the blog this week explaining how they will react, Dietz said. But she warned that the company would judge ideas on more than just their popularity.

"Just because an idea is number one or number two doesn't necessarily mean Dell will do it, but it does mean it will receive the highest level of attention," she said.

I can say from personal experience that the only computer in my house that runs Linux with no driver issues is a Dell laptop. So Dell computers must be a popular choice for users to retrofit with Linux. In the article, an analyst points out that there still are not enough seamless applications for Linux yet. But more seem to be popping up every day. It will be interesting to see how Dell reacts to the instant feedback of the blogosphere, too.

(Incidentally, my Dell laptop has OpenOffice installed. I actually have come to prefer it over Microsoft Office at this point. I also have Firefox on the system but usually use IE anyway - more habit than anything else.)

Ahmadinejad Rattles Saber

Mad Mahmoud Ahmadinejad continues to escalate his saber rattling in the face of de facto Western weakness and American political disarray. He promises no weakness on his part.

TEHRAN (Reuters) - President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Friday Iran should not show weakness over its nuclear program, after Tehran ignored a U.N. deadline to stop nuclear work which the West says will be used to make atom bombs.

The U.N. Security Council had given Iran until February 21 to halt uranium enrichment, a process that can make fuel for power plants or material for warheads.

The U.N. watchdog International Atomic Energy Agency said on Thursday Iran had not heeded the demand.

The five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council plus Germany will meet in London next week to discuss possible further steps in addition to U.N. sanctions barring the transfer of nuclear technology and know-how that were imposed in December.

"If we show weakness in front of the enemy the expectations will increase but if we stand against them, because of this resistance, they will retreat," he said in a speech in northern Iran, Iran's ISNA news agency reported. (Emphasis added)

This man considers the United States and the West to be enemies. Is that so very hard for our elites to understand? Apparently so. For Ahmadinejad can vow never to show weakness because he is quite sure the West will be weak enough never to face him down.

But It Is A Way To Lose

Charles Krauthammer looks at the two separate approaches the Democratic party politicians are floating as methods to defund the war. One is the execrable approach proposed by Unindicted Abscam Co-Conspirator John Murtha. The other, championed by Carl Levin in the Senate would completely tie the hands of commanders in the field and make it impossible for them to actually fight a war. One cuts off funds to the troops, the other cuts off ability to fight. Krauthammer says it is no way to win a war. But it sure is a way to lose one.

Congress has the power to do that by cutting off the funds. But Democrats will not, because it is politically dangerous. Instead, they are seeking other ways, clever ways. The House is pursuing a method, developed by Murtha and deemed "ingenious" by antiwar activist Tom Andrews of Win Without War, to impose a conditional cutoff of funds, ostensibly in the name of protecting the troops. Unless the troops are given the precise equipment, training and amount of rest Murtha stipulates — no funds.

Unfortunately for the Democrats, Murtha is not disingenuous enough to have concealed the real motive for these ostensibly pro-readiness, pro-troops conditions. He has chosen conditions he knows are impossible to meet — "We have analyzed this, and we have come to the conclusion that it can't be done," he told MoveCongress.org — in order to make the continued prosecution of the war difficult, if not impossible, for the commanders in the field.

But think of what that entails. It leaves the existing 130,000 troops out there without the reinforcements and tactical flexibility that the commander, Gen. David H. Petraeus, says he needs to win.

Of course, the Democrats believe the war cannot be won. But if that's the case, they should order a withdrawal by cutting off funds. They shouldn't micromanage the war in a way that will make winning impossible. That not only endangers the troops remaining in the field, it also makes the Democrats' "the war is lost" mantra a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read what Krauthammer has to say about Levin's approach, which is actually going to make it more deadly for troops and commanders in the field. What neither of the approaches take into account is what damaging precedents are being set that will surely come back to haunt a president from the Democratic party in the future. All the Senate Democrats who are cheerfully running around bashing one another over which campaign contributer insulted what candidate when should consider the fact that they are running for an office that they are also actively engaged in diminishing. Not only is this no way to end a war, it is no way to alter the political system.