Snakes On A Screen?
I have never been interested in the Oscars. The only thing the award show format - and the Oscars in particular - is good for is as an aid to insomnia. So I never bother watching them. So I read today that Al Gore's film won an Oscar. (Al Gore did not actually win the award himself; the film did. There is a distinction, but it doesn't matter in how it is being reported and trumpeted around today.) I predicted that, so it isn't particularly surprising to me. But for a perfect description of the Oscars, it's fun to read Tom Shales take on the festivities in today's Washington Post.
Then Celine Dion sang the "world premiere" of a Morricone-penned song called "I Knew I Loved You." Unfortunately it sounded like the theme from "Titanic" and every other song she ever sang.
Time was wasted throughout the evening on a number of cutesy gimmicks that laid enormous eggs — among them the avant-garde Pilobolus Dance Theatre, whose members posed behind a white screen and acted out the titles of films, or something. DeGeneres joined them at one point and the film they seemed to be interpreting was "Snakes on a Plane," although it was not nominated for any major awards.
As the third hour of the show approached, the stage was taken over by the cast of "Dreamgirls" for a medley of songs from the film. It was fine, but like everything else, and the Oscarcast itself, it went on and on and on. And on. It might still be going on now, for all we know.
DeGeneres reprised a bit from when she hosted the Emmy Awards a few years ago, wandering out into the audience and making small talk with such luminaries as Martin Scorsese (who won Best Director for "The Departed"); she presented Scorsese with a script she said she'd written. Later, she got Steven Spielberg, the world's most successful director, to take a snapshot of her and Eastwood, who occupied an aisle seat in the Kodak Theatre.
It was cute, but DeGeneres didn't seem to have quite the stature of the legendary Oscar hosts of the distant past — namely Johnny Carson and Bob Hope. Of course, that was a long time ago, and Hollywood has changed hugely.
All in all, I'm glad I didn't have to watch it to write a review of it. Five minutes of excitement crammed into a three plus hour show isn't good for much. Except for replacing expensive sleeping pills.
