The Solution To Global Warming!

Thanks to a former Canadian Defense Minister, we now know the solution to global warming! It's so simple. We don' t have to give up a thing with this solution, either.

All we do is get the aliens to fix it for us!

OTTAWA (AFP) – A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change, a local paper said Wednesday.

"I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation … that could be a way to save our planet," Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.

Alien spacecrafts would have traveled vast distances to reach Earth, and so must be equipped with advanced propulsion systems or used exceptional fuels, he told the newspaper.

I'd like Gidney and Cloyd to drop off a scrooch gun for me while they're here. Or maybe Marvin would drop over and lend me a Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator. That would be swell. 

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One Response to The Solution To Global Warming!

  1. crosspatch says:

    There are tons of easy ways to fix “global warming”. One way is for everyone to paint their roof with elastomeric reflective coatings. They reflect better than ice. The effect of hundreds of thousands of acres of roofs painted white is pretty much the same as an additional hundreds of thousands of acres of ice cover. The light gets reflected back out into space before it can be converted to heat. Basically it increases the Earth’s albedo resulting in cooling. If every roof on the planet was painted with it, it would probably trigger an ice age.

    Another way … instead of recycling paper, pulp it and pack it back into old coal mines using much the same technology that is used to make “rammed earth” housing structures. So when a pound of coal is taken out of the ground and burned, the CO2 is released into the air where it is taken up by trees farmed for paper production. The paper (i.e. the carbon) then serves a useful purpose in our economy and when we are done with it, pulp it, turn it into a slurry, pump it into an old coal mine, compress the living daylights out of it and the carbon goes right back where it came from.

    Oh, and asbestos mines would be a great place to put asbestos waste, too. Just put it back where you got it from in the first place.

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