Unemployment Rate Climbs Sharply In Kansas

In a true sign of a worsening economy, hundreds are expected to go on the unemployment lines at Kansas State University. The administration has bowed to pressure groups and has ordered that there will be no more chicken tossing at basketball games. It was the only work the chickens could get and now it's gone.

MANHATTAN, Kan. – The chicken toss has been declared off limits at Kansas State. For years, Kansas State students have smuggled live chickens into basketball games against Kansas, then thrown them onto the court and behind the opposing bench before tip-off — mocking their rival's Jayhawk mascot.

But an animal rights group objected to the mistreatment of chickens, and the school issued an open letter to fans this week calling for an end to the practice.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals responded to the latest incident during a game Feb. 19 by sending a letter to university president Jon Wefald, claiming at least three chickens were thrown on the court during player introductions.

The letter described chickens as "very intelligent and inquisitive animals" that appeared to have been subjected to "deafening noise, bright lights, terror, abusive handling and likely death for the sake of amusement."

The jobless chickens were last seen lining up for an unemployment check. Unfortunately, the sign on the building said "KFC", not "Unemployment". The chickens being somewhat less intelligent than the PETA folks are projecting anthropomorphically.

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One Response to Unemployment Rate Climbs Sharply In Kansas

  1. BadBob says:

    Mama always told us “never play with your food” …

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