A Dark New Chapter
As if the Animal Uprising™ wasn't bad enough already. It has taken another, even darker turn today. Now mythical animals have joined the inhuman plot to take over the world. Yes, folks, unicorns have taken up carjacking.
BILLINGS, Mont. - A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post — it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said…….
…..A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.
So this poor guy stops at the local tavern, has a drink or three, then gets jumped by a unicorn as he tries to leave in his car. Sounds perfectly logical according to our informants. They tell us that pink elephants will be skyjacking flights soon, too. We wonder - a lot - about our informants.
By OldeForce, Friday, 16 March , 2007 @ 8:15 pm
There was a follow-up in our local paper. Seems there is what’s referred to as a “unicorn defense” - when the arrested individual says someone else, unknown to the driver, was actually driving the car. Yup. More likely a raccoon.