Lest You Think….
…..That every, single informant the Crabitat has is somewhat off-center, we present the following email. The famed mystery writer JA Jance actually reads this blog - and sends along tidbits about the Animal Uprising™ when she isn't busy signing books on promotional tours. (Where do you think we got the information about moose lynchings, anyway?) But she was kind enough to send along an email about an animal that has not gone over to the dark side. A hero who has not abandoned her human family. JA Jance's family, in fact. Here's the email she sent:
Dear Gaius,
I have an anti-animal uprising story. For the last six weeks, our family
pet, an aging golden retriever has fought a very expensive, life and death
battle with a fungal infection that damn near killed her. In fact there were
days when we were sure she was going to have to be put down.
In the past few days–since Tuesday of this week, in fact, she's finally
been on the mend, but she's been so sick that we've taken to sleeping with our
bedroom door open so, if she needed to toss her cookies, she could go outside
to do so. And being a good golden, she has done so on numerous occasions.
Last night, with my husband and me both asleep in our bed, Daphne suddenly
went nuts. We awakened to find a STRANGER walking through our bedroom and out
the open patio slider, with Daph at his heels raising cane. In eight years
I've NEVER heard Daphne that furious before. The front door deadbolt hadn't
been completely engaged, the intruder, a heavily medicated, developmentally
disabled AWOL inmate from a local group home, had let himself in to our house
through the front door, eaten one of Daphne's day old donuts in the kitchen
and then wandered into our bedroom trying to find his way out of the house.
Daph has now repaid every penny we spent on her medical care. And, dog barf
or not, we will be locking our bedroom door tonight.
Not all of the animals have gone bad. There is still hope that the menace of the Animal Uprising™ can be defeated! Golden retrievers especially are still friends of humans. They may not be particularly bright when you pet them (the lights go right out, as any golden owner will tell you. I know, I owned one.) but they are utterly loyal. I'd buy Daphne a dozen or so nice, fresh Krispy-Kreme doughnuts after that performance. The good ones with the frosting!
By Dan Patterson, Monday, 19 March , 2007 @ 5:31 am
I still hve contacts at the KK Corporate HQ, from my short time inside the gates. Let me know. All my best friends are dogs.