Mammals Mauling Missouri Motorists

The Animal Uprising™ has launched a spring offensive in Missouri. They are sending their suicide swerve squads out in force. These are the animals, primarily deer, that jump in front of cars in an attempt to make the driver swerve, lose control and crash. But the Missouri offensive is not just using deer. They are using cows, too.

The 1996 GMC reportedly struck a fence after missing the animal, went into a field and overturned. The crash was reported around 8:40 p.m. on Route E, four miles north of Eldridge.

Paramedics took Christopher D. Parson, 36, to Lake Ozark Hospital in Osage Beach with moderate injuries, a patrol report said.

The patrol also reported that an Oklahoma motorist was injured last night after his Toyota struck a cow in McDonald County.

The crash was reported before 8:30 p.m. on Missouri 43, one mile north of Southwest City.

Please note the county in which the cow-car crash occurred. Is this the opening round in an offensive against fast food as well? We think the selection of McDonald county as the location for this is not coincidental.