Jeepers, Creepers, What Did You Do With Peepers?
The media gets this whole story wrong - as usual when they are writing about anything involving an animal.
Authorities say that on March 23, Quinlan and his 39-year-old girlfriend drove to a Lynnwood shopping center, where he entered a Linens 'n Things outlet and she went into a Petco store, taking the duck with her.
Stern wrote in court papers that a security guard thought he saw Quinlan shoplift an iPod speaker system, and a scuffle ensued.
Police say the guard chased Quinlan to the Petco store, where Quinlan got the car keys from his girlfriend and tried to escape.
The man jumped into the driver's seat of the car as the woman walked out of the store with her duck. Not knowing what was going on, she tried to stop him from driving away and was knocked down by the open car door as it backed up. She dropped the duck.
A Petco employee saw what was happening and "ran to save Peepers from the front of the car" just as Quinlan drove forward, Stern wrote. The car ran over the woman, inflicting serious injuries including broken bones in her foot and ankle, he said.
Charging papers say Quinlan continued driving and didn't stop until his vehicle struck another car nearby.
Our mildly incoherent informants tell us that the real story is the duck, Mr. Peepers. He was the ringleader of the entire operation. The humans, especially the dumb one, were just decoys. The duck was actually the shoplifter and got away with thousands of dollars worth of duck chow to help feed the waterfowl attack squads of the Animal Uprising™. Mr. Peepers is reportedly upset that his minions were unable to get him the speakers for his iPod, however, and refuses to make bail for Quinlan.
By BlogDog, Tuesday, 17 April , 2007 @ 11:36 am
There’s an old story about a duck, a buck, a truck and … something else. I wonder if that was Mr. Peepers’s inspiration.
Damn the Animal Uprising! But I hasten to add that pugs would never join something so nefarious. THey love people. In fact, I think we could get pug informants into the AU. Not that we’d understand them. But they’d *want* to tell us everything.
Especially if we have snacks.