It’s Official! Yale Has Gone Loco.

In what is probably the silliest, most infantile response to serious events that I have heard of recently, Yale's Dean of Student Affairs, Betty Trachtenberg, has responded to the killings at Virginia Tech by banning stage weapons – props – from student theatrical productions.

No, really. She did.

 In the wake of Monday’s massacre at Virginia Tech in which a student killed 32 people, Dean of Student Affairs Betty Trachtenberg has limited the use of stage weapons in theatrical productions.

Students involved in this weekend’s production of “Red Noses” said they first learned of the new rules on Thursday morning, the same day the show was slated to open. They were subsequently forced to alter many of the scenes by swapping more realistic-looking stage swords for wooden ones, a change that many students said was neither a necessary nor a useful response to the tragedy at Virginia Tech.

According to students involved in the production, Trachtenberg has banned the use of some stage weapons in all of the University’s theatrical productions. While shows will be permitted to use obviously fake plastic weapons, students said, those that hoped to stage more realistic scenes of stage violence have had to make changes to their props.

Mind you, it is perfectly acceptable to stage a hanging in a play, according to students quoted in the article. But nothing resembling a real weapon. We recommend the drama students immediately begin using celery, carrots and zucchini in place of the swords. They should call the new prop weapons by an appropriate title before each performance: Trachtenberg night specials.

Remember, when cukes are outlawed, only criminals will have cukes.

My heavens, I've had to reactivate the old "Yale Follies" category.

Mind you, it is perfectly acceptable to stage a hanging in a play, according to students quoted in the article. But nothing resembling a real weapon. We recommend the drama students immediately begin using celery, carrots and zucchini in place of the swords. They should call the new prop weapons by an appropriate title before each performance: Trachtenberg night specials.

Remember, when cukes are outlawed, only outlaws – and Yalies - will have cukes.

My heavens, I've had to reactivate the old "Yale Follies" category.

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6 Responses to It’s Official! Yale Has Gone Loco.

  1. Pingback: Pirate’s Cove » >>Americans Never Quit » Blog Archive » Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup

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  3. So most of Shakespeare has just been ripped from their inventory? You cannot end Hamlet with he and Laertes duking it out with Nerf knives. And what about “Henry V”?

    “Once more, unto the silly string!”

  4. Gaius says:

    They’ll be waving mackerels around like mad. It will turn every Shakespeare play into a joke.

  5. Monty Python gets the last laugh.

  6. Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » Baa, Baa, Baa

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