Terror In The Heartland
Be afraid. The overlords of the Animal Uprising™ are continuing their attempts to genetically engineer the perfect warrior. They tried four-wheel drive chickens, dolphins and ducks as well as seven wheel drive deer. Now they have introduced something even more fiendish: The hermaphroditic, six-wheel drive black Angus cattle warrior.
LITCHFIELD, Neb. – A days-old black Angus calf romps about a central Nebraska farm just like any other — only this one romps with six legs. "He's a real freak," said Brian Slocum, who said the calf was born Sunday to one of his cows. "I've never seen anything like this before."
The two extra appendages — one a front leg, the other a back — extend from the calf's pelvic area. The longer of the two extra legs doesn't quite reach the ground, and they don't interfere with the calf's mobility.
The unnamed calf also has organs for both sexes and a surgically supplied rectum.
David Smith, a veterinary specialist at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, said the calf's twin sexes indicate the embryos for what might have been fraternal twins likely fused during development, producing one calf with extra parts.
These things will be able to cover a lot of ground in a hurry once they are perfected. Worse yet, the six legs will make cow tipping virtually impossible! What are they going to do for entertainment on Saturday nights in Nebraska?
By feeblemind, May 4, 2007 @ 6:09 pm
Ok Gaius, you’ve thrown down the gauntlet, this Nebraskan will pick it up. There are lots of other things to do besides cow tipping. There is……hmmmmm…wait a minute…. and then there’s…..oh! Wait!I know some. You can listen to the wind blow through the trees, or the coyotes howling, or mabe a calf bawling. You can count the number of cars that drive past your farmstead during the night. Don’t laugh. So few cars go by my place that I look out the window to see who it is when a car drives by. Finally, we can take smart aleck city-slickers snipe hunting. I better go check to see if the grass has grown in the last hour. It is so exciting to watch!