Smoke On The……

Interstate. In this case, I-75 near the Georgia-Florida border. Authorities have again closed that highway because of dense smoke from a raging wildfire in the Okefenokee Swamp. A nasty fire, apparently.

Officials said Sunday that the wildfire that had raced through the Okefenokee Swamp in southeast Georgia and into Florida had charred more than 233,700 acres — or about 365 square miles — since it was started by lightning a week ago.

Authorities reopened 90 miles of Interstates 75 and 10 for a couple of hours Sunday morning after wind helped push the heavy smoke away from the highways. But they were later forced to close 35 miles of I-75 from the Florida-Georgia state line to Lake City, Fla., as well as a 40-mile stretch of I-10 in Florida, from Live Oak to Sanderson.

A 15-mile stretch of I-75 from Valdosta, Ga., to the Florida state line remained open Sunday.

About 570 residents were not being allowed to return to 150 homes evacuated between I-10 and the Florida-Georgia state line.

The fire started May 5 in the middle of the Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge. It took just six days to grow larger than another wildfire that has burned nearly 121,000 acres of Georgia forest and swampland over more than three weeks. The small fire was started by a tree falling on a power line.

Just to put this in a bit of perspective, my family drove from Illinois to Florida about 9-10 years ago (sorry, can't remember exactly which trip it was; neither could my wife when I asked her. That time frame is right, but the exact dates are fuzzy.) and we ran into extremely dense smoke coming from a fire (or fires) raging in the Okefenokee swamp area right near the border area. At times the smoke was like driving in a heavy fog. This went on for many miles, too. Maybe a reader from that area can tell us all how frequent this sort of thing is. One thing I can vouch for, it isn't much fun to drive through.

“After A Few Beers, You Can’t Really Tell The Difference”

The quoted words of Butch Joubert, who attended an all-you-can-eat event at Mama's Place Bar and Grill in Elderon in central Wisconsin. The star item on the menu?

Testicles.

Wisconsinites have deep-fried cheese curds, candy bars and Twinkies. They now have deep-fried livestock testicles, too.

More than 300 people paid $5 for all-you-can-eat goat, lamb and bull testicles Saturday at the ninth annual Testicle Festival at Mama's Place Bar and Grill in Elderon in central Wisconsin.

"Once you get over the mental (aspect) of what you're eating, it's just like eating any other food, and it tastes good," Buster Hoffman said.

Festival founder Nancy Fenske said the festival grew out of her late husband Roger's birthday party 12 years ago. They decided to have "a nut fry" at Mama's Place after bringing back lamb fries from a trip to Montana.

There's a roadhouse over near the summer camp my kids attend that also do a "Rocky Mountain Oyster" event annually. Which I have no desire to attend. Whatsoever. There simply isn't enough beer. Oh, I am aware that the delicacies in question have been popular in various cultures for ages. But I'll just point out that some people also like Carrot Top.

Enough said.

Unintended Consequences

Linda Fowler has a really interesting op-ed in Newsday that examines the consequences of all the moving and shuffling of primaries in the states. The unintended consequences of those moves are not likely to be a positive for the overall election process. In fact, they are very likely to be detrimental and will make elections more about packaging of candidates than about substance. It will also make the unexpectedly strong, come-from-nowhere candidate virtually impossible.

California's decision earlier this year to move its presidential primary to Feb. 5 set off a round of competition among states trying to beat each other to the polls that has left us with a national primary in all but name. Yet we have achieved this without deliberation about its consequences or rules to guide the process.

The nation's most populous state is understandably weary of its irrelevance in selecting the chief executive, partly because of its traditionally late presidential primary. But now another big state, Florida, has leaped ahead to Jan. 29, and at least 20 states, including New York and New Jersey, will vote on the same day as California.

Requiring candidates to launch what is effectively a national campaign ensures that only those who have honed their messages in advance will be able to succeed. No longer will candidates have a chance to experiment with themes that may resonate with the electorate and build momentum state by state. Pre-tested themes will supplant face-to-face contact with voters, giving pollsters and consultants even more weight than they already enjoy. The edge will go even more to candidates able to most successfully court donors and activists in what insiders call the "invisible primary."

The idea of an outsider candidate using Iowa and New Hampshire to bring new life and new ideas to the party establishment will be a thing of the past. Substantial challenges like those mounted by Eugene McCarthy in 1968 or Ronald Reagan in 1976 will become nearly impossible.

This is not a good move, I suspect. What this will do is to effectively make the primary a preliminary election, not a winnowing process. It will also make the political industry - the people who make their livings off elections and politics (without actually running for office) more important. But it will virtually eliminate the people - the voters - from the process of selecting candidates. We'll have popularity contests - beauty pageants - rather than an examination of candidates. Pre-packaged, programmed, poll-tested messages right up front from candidates who are virtually interchangeable regardless of party. This is also the larger states hijacking any influence the smaller states still have. We have a real problem growing here.

Leaving The Gates Open

Mark Steyn's column this week reminds us that there is an insidious double standard at work in the United States. On the one hand, there is a vast program that is supposed to make us safer from foreign terrorists. On the other hand there are states and municipalities undermining that program on a daily basis - as a matter of official policy. We're skating on very thin ice.

In theory, Baker was right. But out there in the Balkans, if you're one of the dogs in the fight, great-power evenhandedness can seem pretty one-handed by the time you hear about it. Don't take my word for it. Here's Osama bin Laden: "The British are responsible for destroying the Caliphate system. They are the ones who created the Palestinian problem. They are the ones who created the Kashmiri problem. They are the ones who put the arms embargo on the Muslims of Bosnia so that 2 million Muslims were killed."

Whoa, hold up there: How come a list of imperial interventions wound up with a bit of non-imperial non-intervention? Because, for serious nations, even not taking sides is seen as, in effect, taking sides. What was the single biggest factor in the radicalization of British Muslims? Omar Sheikh, convicted in Karachi for the kidnapping and beheading of Daniel Pearl, is British — a Westernized non-observant chess-playing pop-listening beer-drinking London School of Economics student, until he was fired up by the massacres of Bosnian Muslims. And, while Europe dithered as the mountain of corpses piled up, Saudi money poured in, transforming the relatively mild Balkan Islam into something far more virulent. Look at the change in Muslim architecture in the region over the last 15 years: They build Wahhabist mosques now. Unlike the State Department complaceniks, the Islamists understand there is no stability.

Tough, you say. So what? Washington still has no dog in these fights. It's time to hunker down in Fortress America. Which brings me to the fourth lesson: What fortress? The three Duka brothers were (if you'll forgive the expression) illegal immigrants. They're not meant to be here. Yet they graduated from a New Jersey high school and they operated two roofing companies and a pizzeria. Think of how often you have to produce your driver's license or Social Security number. But, five years after 9/11, this is still one of the easiest countries in the world in which to establish a functioning but fraudulent identity.

Consider, for example, the post-9/11 ritual of airline security. You have to produce government-issued picture ID to the TSA official. Does that make you feel safer? On that Tuesday morning in September, four of the killers got on board by using picture ID they'd acquired through the "undocumented worker" network in Falls Church, Va. Half the jurisdictions in the United States issue picture ID to people who shouldn't even be in the country, and they issue it as a matter of policy. The Fort Dix boys were pulled over for 19 traffic violations, but because they were in "sanctuary cities," any cop who suspected they were illegals was unable to report them to immigration authorities. Again, as a matter of policy.

On one hand, America creates a vast federal security bureaucracy to prevent another 9/11. On the other hand, American politicians and bureaucrats create a parallel system of education and welfare and health care entitlements, main- taining and expanding a vast network of fraudulent identity that cor- rupts the integrity of almost all state databases. And though it played a part in the killing of 3,000 Americans, leaders of both parties insist nothing can be done to stop it. All we can do is give the Duka brothers "a fast track to citizenship."

You should read the whole thing. Steyn hits it right on the head here. The gates are, indeed, wide open. I have argued, over and over, that the first order of business is to get control of the borders. Many other things can be settled later if you do that first. But we, as a nation, if we want to survive as a nation, have got to get better control over who is here and how they get here. The Duka brothers should be a glaring alarm that we have a problem. Illegal immigrants to this country who very much mean this country harm are a clear and present danger. That is an unacceptable situation. The first politician who grasps that will win a lot of votes.

The Mother’s Day Present

This morning, I took my wife out to breakfast. Just the two of us. It was a nice chance for the two of us to have a little time together without the kids, but it was also part of a plot. The two youngest kids wanted me to take her away for a few hours so they could get her present put together - they wanted to clean and vacuum the house. Which I thought was a great idea. So off we went, ostensibly just for breakfast and to pick a few things up at the store.

Driving to town, we were passing fields still flooded from last week's non-stop storms. At times, the road resembled a causeway more than an interstate. And that's after a week for it to drain. We really did get a lot of rain. But we had a nice drive; a chance to talk. However, even though it was fairly early on a Sunday, the local Perkin's restaurant was already packed solid - There wasn't a parking spot open in the entire lot. We figured it would be too long a wait, so we went to a nearby truck stop restaurant (which actually has good food, incidentally.)

So we had a nice breakfast, chatted some more, then went over to the store. There we only needed a few things, but I made sure she picked out her own present from me for Mother's day. (I also had an ulterior motive for taking her out this morning, you see.) It was the only thing she asked for, something near and dear to her heart, but I wanted to make absolutely sure she got the exact right one. So I asked her to pick it out. We got one she was thrilled with. Then it was back home.

She was thrilled, too, with the present the kids had arranged. The house was clean - completely dusted, vacuumed and looking really tidy. Even the usual kid explosions of clutter were neatly put away. Then she showed the kids what I got her. They oohed and ahhed over it, but she warned them - repeatedly - that they better keep their respective hands off it. This was hers, she was not going to share it and the first person to touch it was in deep, deep trouble. The look in her eye told us all she meant it, too. She obviously meant me, too. So I'll have to keep my hands off it as well.

She's even putting a lock on the case. I won't be able to borrow a ratchet even if I was crazy enough to try to.

(And yes, that is actually what she really wanted and asked for, no kidding. Her own toolset that she could keep away from the kids - and me!)

That Sinking Feeling

The pride of Henry VIII's fleet, the Mary Rose sank in 1545 during a battle with a French invasion fleet. Well, first sank, anyway. It appears that a shortage of funding may sink it a second time, with conservation not even completed yet.

She was the pride of King Henry VIII's fleet, helping to repel the French and Italians before sinking off the south coast.

Now, 25 years after a nation rejoiced as she was raised from the seabed, the Mary Rose is again engaged in a battle for her survival.

The Mary Rose Trust is launching a renewed bid to secure £20 million of funding from the Heritage Lottery Fund (HLF) to preserve the ship and to keep its outdated museum open.

The campaign, fronted by the historian David Starkey, has attracted the support of the Prince of Wales and the actor Robert Hardy.

But supporters fear that the spiralling cost of the 2012 Olympics, and the resulting redirection of lottery money, will scupper their hopes.

If the bid is rejected - a fate that befell last year's effort to secure £13.5 million - the trust says that from 2011 it will be unable to afford to carry out vital treatment on the historic vessel and that it will have to close because of health and safety considerations.

"That there is even a question hanging over this is a national scandal," said Mr Starkey, who recorded a video about the ship last week that will be released next month.

Britain - and the world - stand to lose a unique treasure because of shortsighted policies and misplaced priorities. The conservation process involves spraying the ship with what amounts to a wax then drying it. But the final stages are now in jeopardy. (Wikipedia here with a description of the conservation method in use.)

Penguins Unleash Invasion Of Peru

The first elements of the penguin legions of the Animal Uprising™ have reached the shores of Peru. Authorities in Peru are assuming - quite incorrectly - that the first Magellanic penguin they apprehended was "disoriented". We here at Blue Crab Boulevard know better.

LIMA, Peru - A "disoriented" Magellanic penguin swam ashore on Peru's coast, some 3,100 miles north of his home in the frigid waters of southern Chile.

The penguin got lost while looking for food, Peru's National Resource Institute was quoted as saying in El Comercio newspaper Saturday.

"It seems he was disoriented and got lost in the sea due to the different ocean currents," said Wilder Canales, who heads the National Paracas Reserve in southern Peru. "In his endless search for food, he casually climbed up on our shores, something that has never happened before."

They happened to get lucky and captured a scout. Just wait until the main body of the invasion fleet arrives. That will be the sign for the llamas to rise up as well. Machu Picchu will be renamed Machu Penguinu and will become the new capitol for the conquered territory.

Got Him

Mullah Dadullah is confirmed dead by NATO spokesmen. The high ranking Taliban commander's death is considered a very serious blow to the terrorists.

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan - A U.S.-led coalition operation supported by NATO troops killed the Taliban's most prominent military commander, dealing the insurgency a "serious blow," a NATO statement said Sunday, confirming Afghan reports of Mullah Dadullah's death.

Dadullah, a Taliban commander who trained suicide bombers, was killed after he left his "sanctuary" in southern Afghanistan, according to a statement from NATO's International Security Assistance Force. It said the Afghan forces assisted in the operation.

"Mullah Dadullah Lang will most certainly be replaced in time, but the insurgency has received a serious blow," it said.

Dadullah is one of the highest-ranking Taliban leaders to be killed since the fall of the hardline regime following the U.S.-led invasion in 2001, and his death represents a major victory for the Afghan government and U.S. and NATO troops.

Dadullah, a top lieutenant of Taliban leader Mullah Omar, was killed Saturday in the southern province of Helmand, said Said Ansari, the spokesman for Afghanistan's intelligence service.

A second intelligence service official said Dadullah was killed near the Sangin and Nahri Sarraj districts of Helmand province, which have seen heavy fighting involving British and Afghan troops and U.S. Special Forces. The official was not authorized to give his name.

Very good news first thing in the morning.

Celebrating Jamestown

The Washington Post has a description of many of the celebrations that took place at Jamestown yesterday to celebrate the 400th anniversary of the arrival of English colonists at the first permanent colonial settlement in Virginia. They also have a very interesting slideshow. My personal favorite is slide number 10 which shows the docking of one of Jamestown's reproduction sailing vessels docking. Who knew they had rubber dinghies with outboard motors back then? (If you read through the article, the "soldiers" were also drilling near a row of port-a-potties, which got a laugh from the crowds.)

Happy Mother’s Day

A very happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there, especially to my wonderful wife.