We Heartily Disapprove

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard are dismayed when we read headline like this from the Associated Press: "Wayward whales to be lured back to sea". While we are the very voice of reason and calmness about the Animal Uprising™ around here, we do not approve of the old methodology of whale catching. In fact, we boycott Whale Pro Shops® and refuse to have anything to do with them or their merchandise. Especially the Whale Wobbler 2000™, a particularly nasty, yet amazingly effective whale lure. (That lure was used by the winner of the last legal Pacific Whale Derby, a gentleman named Ahab, we believe.) We think the attempt to lure the whales should be denounced by all. 

</humor> Real story:

WEST SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Biologists hope the salty waters and ample food of the Pacific Ocean will speed the recovery of two humpback whales injured on a 90-mile detour up the Sacramento River.

To get them to the ocean, the biologists plan to play the underwater sounds of humpbacks from a boat as the tide goes out, said researchers with the Sausalito-based Marine Mammal Center, which has taken the lead on the attempted rescue.

More boats will line the channel to try to prevent them from turning around, they said.

"Plan B is herding the animals out using a platoon of boats," said Frances Gulland, director of veterinary science at the center.

Whales have had to be led out of the Sacramento River before.

UPDATE: Funniest thing yet today: they changed the headline! It now reads: "Songs to lure wayward whales toward home".