Who Will Invigilate The Invigilators?

Nearly 2,000 Nigerian students were caught cheating on university entrance examinations using cell phones.

"A total of 1,948 candidates were caught cheating with mobile phones during the examination," Dibu Ojerinde, registrar of the examination body, told the independent This Day and The Punch newspapers.

Ojerinde said a total of 40,043 candidates, including the mobile phone cheats, were caught for malpractices during the examination conducted to select candidates for admission into the country's universities.

He said "299 invigilators and external agents were reported to have colluded with the candidates" to commit the examination fraud, adding that 21,466 cases were pending for determination following discrepancies noted in candidates' scripts.

What, you ask, is an invigilator? Well, that caught our eye, too. It is a word used in English English (as opposed to American English) to describe someone tasked with monitoring students during examinations. (I've always heard them described as "monitors" in American schools.) Authorities caught on to the scheme when every single answer to question 21 started off:

"Request for urgent business relationship.

First I must solicit your strictest confidence in this matter. My name is Prince William Masala  M'Botu. I am in need of assistance in a most vital matter concerning a large sum of money……."

All those learned men of Nigerian letters caught on right away.