More properly, the turkeys are invading Farmington Hills, a suburb of Detroit. And the authorities are downplaying the depredations of the domineering drumsticks of doom!
FARMINGTON HILLS, Mich. – Wild turkeys have been showing up on the streets of this Detroit suburb, pecking at windows and eating from bird feeders.
The skittish birds are generally found in rural areas or large parks, but naturalists and wildlife experts say the turkeys could get used to life in this city of more than 78,000 people.
"Wherever you have a suburb that still has large stands of big trees left, where they think they are comfortable, you may be prone to having wild turkeys," said Joe Derek, city naturalist for Farmington Hills.
You fools. The turkeys must be stopped before it is too late. Pretty soon, they'll be hanging out on street corners waiting for kids to walk by so they can steal their lunch money! Don't believe us? Then look at what happened when the feathered fiends invaded Brookline, Massachusetts! And just wait until they keep people from their jobs! Or until they begin to commute! The only solution is to immediately arrange for a casino to be built in another town.
Turkeys are suckers for slot machines.
