Ah-OOOOOOO!

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein
(Warren Zevon, Werewolves of London)

The British police swear they have discovered a link between the full moon and a rise in violent crime – even though researchers have not been able to find any link. So the police intend to put additional forces on the streets during full moons.

Sussex Police have found that drinkers in the seaside city of Brighton and Hove are particularly aggressive during full moons, despite mixed findings from researchers who have examined the issue previously.

"I compared a graph of full moons and a graph of last year's violent crimes and there is a trend," Inspector Andy Parr told the Brighton Argus newspaper.

"People tend to be more aggressive generally. I would be interested in approaching the universities and seeing if any of their post-graduates would be interested in looking into it further. This could be helpful to us."

The announcement has led some locals to joke that werewolves — humans who, according to myth, turn into wolf-like creatures during a full moon — may be loose on the city's streets.

"When there is a full moon out, we look at the sky and say, 'Oh no, all the idiots will be out tonight,'" bouncer Terry Wing told the paper.

"I will start looking at the back of people's hands for hair next time."

Research on a link between the lunar cycle and violent behaviour has tended to be sceptical of any connection.

Earlier this year, Professor Michal Zimecki of the Polish Academy of Sciences reportedly found that a full moon could affect criminal activity.

But in a 1998 article for the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, researchers from the University of Sydney and Manly Hospital in New South Wales found "no significant relationship."

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have long been wary of werewolves. Which is why we stocked up on silver bullets before the price of silver skyrocketed. And don't get us started about vampires.