We humans are in serious trouble this morning as word comes from Lancaster, Pennsylvania of the newest weapon that the Animal Uprising™ has unleashed. More terrifying than the taser-proof porcine berserker; more horrifying than cannibal cattle; even less appealing than tranquilizer-proof donkeys: They have unleashed the bullet-proof deer.
Police said an injured deer showed up at Shaub's Shoe Store on the first block of North Queen Street around 6 a.m.
Several cars had already hit the deer, so officers shot it. But it got up and ran to the King Street Parking Garage where it proceeded to run up to the third story.
Once there, the deer jumped from the third level and landed in the Lancaster Convention Center site, narrowly missing a construction worker. The deer died on impact.A construction worker and foreman told News 8 that some of the workers took the deer and put in in a cooler. The workers said they plan to eat it.
The deer chose suicide rather than let humans in on the secret of the new bullet-proofing. As for the construction crew, they apparently enjoy pavement-tenderized venison.
Okay, that scared me. We have enough deer problems without bullet proof ones.
Robo-deer. Its the rise of the machines in collusion with the animals.