The Oddest Holdup In History?

This is one for the books. A 46-year old man entered a grocery store in Grand Chute, Wisconsin with a shopping list. He did not, however, have any intention of paying for anything on his list. So he robbed the joint:

Police were called to a grocery store late Thursday after witnesses said a 46-year-old man from Brown Deer threatened employees. The workers said the man gestured as though he had a concealed gun and told them he would shoot.

The man left with 12 bottles of whiskey, two heads of lettuce and a digital thermometer, police said.

Um. We're kind of at a loss here. Whiskey - pretty normal holdup stuff. The lettuce and the thermometer? A rabbit with a fever? A rabbit with fertility problems? (In which case, we could use the whiskey).

Did Dinosaurs Die In Agony?

Many dinosaur fossils are found in a characteristic pose: head thrown back, mouth open in a rictus, limbs drawn in and tail arched back toward the head. It is actually called a death pose in a lot of writings, in fact. Well, there is a new theory that says that this characteristic pose may have been the result of agonizing death throes.

Fossilized dinosaurs often have wide-open mouths, heads thrown back and tails that curve toward the head. Paleontologists have long assumed the dinosaurs died in water and the currents drifted the bones into that position, or that rigor mortis or drying muscles, tendons and ligaments contorted the limbs.

"I'm reading this in the literature and thinking, 'This doesn't make any sense to me as a veterinarian,'" said Cynthia Marshall Faux, a veterinarian-turned-paleontologist at the Museum of the Rockies.

Faux and a colleague say brain damage and asphyxiation are the more likely culprits.

A classic example of the posture, which has puzzled paleontologists for ages, is the 150-million-year-old Archaeopteryx, the first-known example of a feathered dinosaur and the proposed link between dinosaurs and present-day birds.

"Virtually all articulated specimens of Archaeopteryx are in this posture, exhibiting a classic pose of head thrown back, jaws open, back and tail reflexed backward and limbs contracted," said Kevin Padian, professor of integrative biology and curator in the Museum of Paleontology at the University of California, Berkeley. He Faux (pronounced "Fox") published their findings this week in the journal Paleobiology.

Some animals found in this posture may have suffocated in ash during a volcanic eruption, consistent with the fact that many fossils are found in ash deposits, Faux and Padian said. But many other possibilities exist, including disease, brain trauma, severe bleeding, thiamine deficiency or poisoning.

Ahem. Amateurs. We here at the Blue Crab Advanced Institute of Paleontology and Fish Polishing, Ltd have an alternative theory, arrived at after long, agonizing minutes of web surfing. That characteristic pose, head thrown back, limbs contorted, mouth gaping, body curved back is actually very commonly seen today. We believe that we can provide video evidence to bolster our claim:

 

Those dinosaurs died while attempting to play air guitar to "Stairway to Freebird"*.

* (Cheerfully stolen from BlogDog in the comments section.)

There They Go Again

Well, it must be spring again. They're back again this year, swarming all over, making noise and drawing attention to themselves. No, not the cicadas - well, them too, but in this case we're talking about the naked bike riders. They show up around this time of year.

BRIGHTON, England - With strategically placed helmets and slogans painted on bare skin, scores of people shed their clothes and rode through this seaside resort on their bicycles Saturday to promote cycling as an environmentally friendly mode of transport.

"It is time more motorists stripped off their armor plating and moved around more gently on this earth," said Duncan Blinkhorn, 45, one of the event's organizers.

More than 200 cyclists in various stages of undress took part in the World Naked Bike Ride in Brighton and Hove, sister cities on the southern coast of England, to promote cycling.

Cyclists met with police chiefs ahead of the seven-mile ride to seek their advice about avoiding problems or formal complaints about the nudity.

"This is a fun, if outrageous, way to make the serious point that we should not have to tolerate roads, cities and a planet dominated by the brutishness of cars that routinely foul the air we all breathe, destroy lives and impoverish the environment," Blinkhorn said.

Wow, naked and sanctimonious. Quite a combination. Now, seriously, there are a few things that should be considered here. First, in this day and age, it is utterly certain that some of the participants in this sort of event are not motivated by concern for the earth. These would be known as exhibitionists at the very least. It could actually be worse than that. Second, should one of the riders take a fall off that bike, there is going to be road rash in some unusual places. (Which would serve them right, mind you). Third, if you search for some of the pictures of past events, one can state, with certainty, that some of the participants should consider never being seen in public with their clothes on, much less naked. 

Me, I'll stick with the brutishness of cars. Cuts down on the road rash.

Hawaii Invades Japan!

The Hawaiian war fleet has arrived in Japan after five months at sea covered more than 8,500 miles. Well, ok, its just the one canoe, but its the thought that counts.

YOKOHAMA, Japan (AP) — The Hawaiian canoe Hokulea (sic) sailed into the Japanese port of Yokohama on Saturday, completing a five-month journey of more than 8,500 miles across the Pacific.

The vessel, flying orange and burgundy sails, was met by the sounding of conch shells, hula dancers and a crowd of several hundred at the port, south of Tokyo.

Bruce Blankenfield, captain of the 10-member crew, said the 62-foot canoe, patterned after the crafts that ancient Hawaiian islanders used, made stops in the Marshall Islands and Truk, Yap and Palau in the Pacific before docking in Okinawa and working its way up the Japanese coastline.

"This is the culmination of our journey," he said. "We are going home after this."

Blankenfield said he expected the canoe, which departed from Hawaii in January, would arrive home in July.

The more correct spelling, according to their website, is Hokule'a. They must have dropped Alingano Maisu off at Yap on the way to Japan as they had planned.

Waaaah!

Seriously, is this all the Brits do these days? Whine? Neighbors are whining mightily about a birthday party - held with permission from local government and with prior notification to all the neighbors. Charles Burnett III, held his party on his own estate. The party included flybys by aircraft, a mock battle and pyrotechnics. In other words, it sounds like noisy fun - and it was used as a fundraiser for charity, netting £27,000 for Royal British Legion’s Poppy Appeal. Enter the whiners:

The day’s events included air displays by a two-seater Harvard fighter that swooped over Portmore as pyrotechnicians set off mock bombs in the 95-acre parkland in front of his Newtown Park country pile. A 1930s de Havilland Tiger Moth biplane and a Russian Yakovlev Yak18 roared overhead performing flypasts. The grounds of the estate were transformed into a battlezone as 20 off-duty soldiers from the Royal Logistics Corps reenacted skirmishes from the Falklands conflict, with blank-firing rifles.

The centrepiece of the event – entitled “military transport through history” by the host, who was also marking the 25th anniversary of the Falklands conflict – involved some of his cherished collection of amphibious and armoured vehicles…….

……Pamela Watson, 75, said: “The planes were swooping in so low and I was very frightened because they were incredibly noisy, roaring overhead.

“There were loud explosions as well, which shook the windows in my kitchen. It sounded like there was a war going on and I had to stay indoors.”

Althea Ayre, a widow in her eighties, said: “There were lots of people going about in camouflage and tanks driving around – it was very frightening. I lived through the Second World War and I have painful memories of that time.”

This is all over the British press right now, incidentally, not just in the Telegraph. Personally, I'd remind the whiners that Burnett owns his own tanks. But they'd whine about that, too.

Fake Microsoft Security Alerts

Here's one you want to share with friends and family. Scammers are sending emails with phony Microsoft security alerts. If you execute the file that is attached, your computer is infected with a trojan downloader.

With Microsoft Corp.'s monthly patch release expected on Tuesday, scammers are sending out fake security bulletins that attempt to install malicious software on victim's computers.

The e-mail messages claim to describe a "Cumulative Security Update for Internet Explorer" that fixes a critical security flaw in the browser. It comes with a link entitled "Download this update."

When users click on this link, they are taken to a server that attempts to install malicious software known as Trojan-Downloader.Win32.Agent.avk.

This Trojan software then attempts to reach out to other computers on the Internet in order to install more programs on the victim's computer.

The SANS Internet Storm Center received its first and only report of the scam on Thursday night but a second sample has also been posted to the Chinese Internet Security Response Team blog.

SANS volunteer Lenny Zeltser believes that the criminals behind this scam may be gearing up for more activity. The trojan looks for three different servers and two of them have domains that haven't yet been registered. He suspects the authors of the scam may be planning to register those domains before embarking on a more widespread campaign.

I personally do not get update emails from Microsoft, but apparently there are actual legitimate ones - but those take the person to a description page, not to an executable. I recommend managing your own updates or setting Windows to update automatically. But you might want to spread the word on this one.

Deadly Deer Devours Dog

Well, ok, the dear didn't succeed in eating the beagle, but it tried to. It did manage to dine on dog lip, at least.

BARBOURSVILLE — A dog who was attacked by a deer Thursday morning survived the fight.

Deana Smith, the attacked beagle's owner, said even though her dog, Sage, suffered two broken legs, two bite wounds and lost part of her lip, she now is OK. However, at about 10:30 a.m. on Thursday, she was scared for both her dogs' lives.

Smith said she was outside trimming hedges when she heard her two beagles' barks for help.

"I heard pain in their cries, and I saw a deer trying to get at them. The deer bit one of them and stomped one of them and was continually aggressive. I threw things at her to make her stop. It was a really upsetting situation. A neighbor brought his BB gun, and it didn't faze it. She (the deer) circled for about 40 minutes."

She said when her husband came home, he had to open the top of the dog house and lift the beagle out.

Smith said because the deer was so defensive, she knew it probably was trying to protect its child.

Oh, sure. It's all because of Bambi. This is yet another case of the Animal Uprising™ enforcers - the deer - going after man's best friend in an attempt to subvert them to the animal's evil cause. Last time it was using beagles as a dance floor, this time as a lunch stand. Look for an increase in this type of activity. You'll know what the deer are up to when you see them carrying ketchup. After all, that's the deer motto: If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em.

Oh, sure. It's all because of Bambi. This is yet another case of the Animal Uprising™ enforcers - the deer - going after man's best friend in an attempt to subvert them to the animal's evil cause. Last time it was using beagles as a dance floor, this time as a lunch stand. Look for an increase in this type of activity. You'll know what the deer are up to when you see them carrying ketchup. After all, that's the deer motto: If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em.

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