The Ultimate “Man Bites Dog” Story

The phrase "man bites dog" is usually attributed to a former editor of the former New York Sun newspaper, John B. Bogart. He supposedly said: "When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news." But regardless whether he said it, this is the mother of all man bites dog stories. Because not only did the man bite the dog, the man killed the dog by biting it.

A man in Hebei Province tried to chase off a dog that was attacking his puppy, and when that failed, he threw himself on the dog and bit it on the neck, eventually killing it, according to the local Yanzhao Cosmopolitan News. He suffered deep cuts to his arms, it said. The puppy survived. Villagers said that a wound on the dead dog’s neck could have been caused only by biting. They also said the man was known for biting people in fights.

We hasten to point out that this has no relation to the American man who just seized the world record for eating dogs.

NEW YORK - In a gut-busting showdown that combined drama, daring and indigestion, Joey Chestnut emerged Wednesday as the world's hot dog eating champion, knocking off six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi in a record-setting yet repulsive triumph.

Chestnut, the great red, white and blue hope in the annual Fourth of July competition, broke his own world record by inhaling 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes — a staggering one every 10.9 seconds before a screaming crowd in Coney Island.

"If I needed to eat another one right now, I could," the 23-year-old Californian said after receiving the mustard yellow belt emblematic of hot dog eating supremacy.

Kobayashi, the Japanese eating machine, recently had a wisdom tooth extracted and received chiropractic treatment due to a sore jaw. But the winner of every Nathan's hot dog competition from 2001 to 2006 showed no ill effects as he stayed with Chestnut frank-for-frank until the very end of the 12-minute competition.

Once the contest ended, the runner-up suffered a reversal — competitive eating-speak for barfing — leading to a deduction from his final total. Kobayashi finished with 63 HDBs (hot dogs and buns eaten) in his best performance ever.

We'd "reversal" in either case.