Still More Bad News
Close on the heels of the revelation that the Animal Uprising™ has perfected the Bear-Bot® comes even worse news. They have unleashed yet another weapon on the human race. The fiends have set the Desert Moose® loose.
A moose was spotted in the Mid-Columbia desert this week in what's believed to be the first sighting in the area.
Motoring back down the Columbia River after a fishing trip Thursday, Benton City's Robert Vickerman, his son Mark and a fishing buddy came up on a Hanford Reach island when they spotted a moose standing in the shade, grazing on willows.
"We were just amazed," Robert Vickerman said.
So they began snapping pictures of the beast as it watched them float by.
Later, they showed them to Mark's wife Janie, a project specialist for the Pacific Northwest National Laboratory in Richland. She began circulating them at work Friday, creating a buzz among the scientists who work there.
"I knew they'd be excited about it," she said.
It's believed to be the first moose sighting in the area. But Corey Duberstein, a PNNL biologist, said that while such a sighting is rare in a place so distant from natural moose habitat, it's not unprecedented.
Oh, sure it's "natural". Except that the Hanford Reach receives a whopping 6 to 7 inches of rain annually. The place is a desert. Moose do not live in deserts. Camels live in deserts. Therefore, logically, the beast they photographed is either a camel disguised as a moose or is a genetically engineered product of the mad scientists of the Animal Uprising™. Now, normally we wouldn't rule out the camel-in-a-moose-suit theory but camels are notoriously bad actors. They'd never be able to pull it off. The reviews they got for their revival of Mame is proof enough.
By Sylvia, Monday, 9 July , 2007 @ 8:38 am
Do you think maybe the moose’s GPS implant chip is faulty? He was probably supposed to turn left to go to the Compound in Idaho and headed west instead. Give the critters a few more years to refine their technology and then watch out — moose assault teams! I can just see them, striding along, one mile apart, wiping out every fence (one of their greatest skills).