“On The Whole, I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia”
That is, of course, a rather famous quote attributed to WC Fields. It would certainly be an appropriate thing for prospective buyers of this house in Rhode Island to say. Really, the renovations the place needs are all within the norms for real estate - especially for "fixer-uppers". But the neighbors leave a bit to be desired.
HOPKINTON, R.I. - The house is for sale well below its assessed value, has four bedrooms and sits on more than a half acre of land. It's also got lots of vultures, and that's made it a tough sell.
The trees around the Hopkinton house are a year-round nesting ground for turkey and black vultures. The previous owners blamed the birds for polluting their well, scaring their children and causing various illnesses.
But real estate agent Patrick Murray said he's optimistic it could make a good home for the right buyer. It's listed at $189,900, below the assessed value of $222,800, and Murray is pitching it as a place that could "make an excellent bird-watching bed-and-breakfast establishment."
It is quite obvious what is happening here. The buzzards have designated this place as a potential "not-fast-enough food" restaurant. As in, if you stand still, they'll pounce. This can be a bit disconcerting for prospective owners of the establishment in question. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard do not think this is related to the Animal Uprising™. After all, even animals have certain standards. We will note - and we swear this is true - that there is a large flock of vultures in our area that make it a habit of circling a specific location in the town. It is the local nursing home. (Actually, we really wish we were making that one up.)
(Side note: A real yeoman's work in collecting quotes from WC Fields can be found here. Kevin Rayburn has spent far too much time sifting through a lot of material to glean all this out. We are eternally grateful.)
By sam, Friday, 13 July , 2007 @ 4:01 pm
When I read this post, my mind immediately flashed on the cartoonist Gahan Wilson. http://www.gahanwilson.com/ That sounds like something he has drawn a cartoon about.