Killer Wasps Seize State Department Headquarters
Oh, you think we're making this up, don't you? Oh ye of little faith. The grounds of the United States Department of State have been taken over by killer wasps. Real killer wasps - their name even says so. Monstrously ginormous killer wasps the size of your thumb (not making that part up either.)
WASHINGTON - As if the insurgency in Iraq and the fight against terrorism wasn't enough, U.S. diplomats are now struggling with a new threat: menacing "killer" wasps that have infested areas around the State Department's headquarters.
Large numbers of the fearsome looking insects, which can grow to about two inches, are congregating in the vicinity of State's Harry S. Truman building and causing distress to employees, according to an internal memorandum obtained by The Associated Press.
These are 'cicada killer' wasps, which, despite their somewhat alarming appearance and name, are generally not aggressive and do not pose a threat to humans," said the notice, which was distributed on Thursday in a bid to ease fears.
Here is a website that plays down the menace of two-inch, cranky-when-disturbed killer wasps. They say that the wasps are only cranky during mating season. Which is all summer. f you have never seen one of these beasts, you really do not understand how disturbing it is to be chased by what appears to be a four-engined wasp that sounds just like a lawn mower. (We know of what we speak here. We have made a hole in the air when departing the vicinity of these things. Being allergic to regular wasps, we do not wish to find out how fast one of these could kill us.)
Our sources tell us that the State Department has dispatched several crisis teams to negotiate a treaty with the wasps. They are running out of teams, however and the wasps appear to be exceedingly well fed.
By Mwalimu Daudi, Friday, 13 July , 2007 @ 6:20 pm
Killer WASPs? The MSM tells me that Killer Neocons, Killer Christianists, Killer Halliburton and Killer Zionists actually run the US guvmint. Nary a waord about Killer WASPs.
After all, I believe everything the MSM tells me. No al Qaeda in Iraq, now or ever - check. 500+ WMDs found in Iraq are not really WMDs - check. Terrorists=insurgents - check. There is no “War on Terror” - check. Fake but accurate - check. And war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is national educational policy - check, check, and check again.
Oh, wait…you mean real bugs instead of WASPs…sorry.
Must be global warming. And if our troops were not bogged down fighting a war-for-oil in Iraq, we would not be facing this situation. The solution is obvious: IMPEACH BUSH NOW!
By Sylvia, Monday, 16 July , 2007 @ 11:22 am
So, if you’re allergic to wasps, are you also allergic to bee stings and hornets? Keep that epipen handy, okay? The Animal Uprising might send their teams after you now that you’ve revealed your vulnerability…