Since We’re On The Subject Of Bugs

Another bug story. Not quite as creepy as the last post, but bad enough. The Disneyfication of the animal world continues apace in the human world. A young woman from Hemlock, Michigan is claiming that spiders saved her from a house fire. No, really.

The spiders dropping from her bedroom ceiling were running from something. When a Hemlock teen ran from them, she escaped a smoldering attic fire.

Now, Danielle R. Vigue says, she will never kill another of the little arachnids.

When the 18-year-old awoke at 5 a.m. Tuesday and saw spiders entering her bedroom in the family home at 420 S. Elm, she killed them. When more came, she left the room.

"At first there were five, they were all around the light fixture," the teen said. "I hate spiders, they freak me out.

"I killed those, but then seven more started coming down on webs, and it looked like more were on the way. That was enough; I got out."

She went across the hall and got into the queen-sized bed of her sister, Lauren N. Vigue, 15.

"She was so mad that I woke her up," Danielle Vigue said.

Their mother, Debra Vigue, 48, and youngest sister, Shelby L. Vigue, 8, smelled smoke about 9:45 a.m. and went to investigate.

Flames greeted the family when they opened the door to the bedroom where Danielle Vigue was sleeping earlier.

Once again, people completely miss the true intention of the spider brigades of the Animal Uprising. The spiders were not trying to save Danielle Vigue, of course. They were attempting to truss her up for the barbecue. As the famous Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson put it, "If we pull this off, we'll eat like kings."