Lock Picking Primate Takes A Powder

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Tupelo, Mississippi is on the lookout for a sneaky simian safe-cracker from the Animal Uprising™ who managed to free himself from jail by picking the lock of his cell. Yes, Oliver "Capuchin" Monkey is on the lam in Mississippi. Authorities are warning residents to keep a sharp eye out for the absconder.

TUPELO – A white-faced capuchin escaped from the Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo on Tuesday, triggering a citywide search for what authorities call a “smart little monkey.”

Oliver the capuchin apparently picked the lock to his pen at about 8 a.m. and led park
staff on a wild chase through their trail system before eventually escaping.

Now, the park seeks help from residents to bring Oliver back home.

“If you see him, call us,” said park employee Ann Stewart, who said the small mammal will respond to his own name and might take bait of bananas, marshmallows or grapes.
Do not try to touch him, though, Stewart warned: “He will bite. People around here have handled him, but he will bite. Just call the Buffalo Park.”

It is important to note that Oliver is of a species that was very popular back in the day as an accomplice to so-called "organ grinders". We all know what that means, of course. Oliver is out looking for organs to grind. Tupelo residents are accordingly warned to keep close tabs on their livers.  Area residents are being urged to help locate Oliver while Tupelo police are busy investigating a string of burglaries where the thief took only bananas, marshmallows or grapes. They have no leads as to who might be involved.

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4 Responses to Lock Picking Primate Takes A Powder

  1. feeblemind says:

    Wonder when he will sneak back to the park to break out his friends? My sister is a vet. She says monkeys can and do bite, and hard enough that they can take off a finger.

  2. Jimmy don't play that says:

    Lets give a good word some airtime! The PRP is not an absconder (because he took nothing of value with him) – he’s an absquatulater. As an organ grinder, it is apparent that he has run off to squat elsewhere. Okay, too much imagery…

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