Blue Crab Boulevard

Finally! We’ll Get Some Action Now!

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have struggled for a long time to report the news of the Animal Uprising™. Despite some success in raising awareness of the dangers, far too many people ignore us. Or report us. But that will change now. This is serious. The Animal Uprising™ has badly overreached. As soon as news of this gets around most women, not a few men and virtually every child on the planet will turn on the animal overlords once and for all.

The squirrels are stealing the chocolate!

A squirrel with a sweet tooth heads to a Finnish grocery shop at least twice a day to steal "Kinder Surprise" chocolate-shelled candy eggs.

"I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much," the manager of the store in Jyvaskyla, central Finland, said.

The confectionary, which is intended for children, has a toy inside.

"It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," Irene Lindroos said.

Unfortunately, the bushy-tailed thief does not clean up after itself, but leaves the wrappers behind, she added.

Sure, this report plays it up as if it were cute. But remember, squirrels share a group mind. If one squirrel has a sweet tooth, they all do. And there are bazillions of them. When the supply of chocolate dries up for humans, all hell is going to break loose.

Animals | Gaius Thursday, 2 August , 2007

By old_dawg, Thursday, 2 August , 2007 @ 8:14 am

I would be concerned that they are using the toys to lure little children into their range. As the squirrels say, “kids- the other white meat.”
By Lars Walker, Thursday, 2 August , 2007 @ 9:14 am

By the way, I’ve had “Kinder Surprise,” and it’s really good. Neat little toys, too.
By BlogDog, Thursday, 2 August , 2007 @ 8:19 pm

I repeat: Skwerls are evil.
I wish they’d builda confection with a little contact explosive. Surprise!
By Roz, Saturday, 4 August , 2007 @ 9:10 pm

Heck with the squirrels - do you live with any women in your household. Women of, shall we say, a certain maturity in physiology? Do you know the havoc this will wreak on the world economy when the chocolate…RUNS…OUT!?
By Roz, Saturday, 4 August , 2007 @ 9:14 pm

Just one more point - you do remember we in the female-more-than-half-of-the-population outnumber don’t you? H-O-A-R-D, gentlemen…