And In Today’s Goat Headlines

The citizens of Ireland will be ecstatic to know that they are now living in a monarchy! The new king, Jimmy I, has been crowned at a coronation ceremony in Killorglin. The reign of peace, prosperity, drinking and music has begun! The great monarchy will last for an eternity. Or three days, whichever comes first. 

DUBLIN (Reuters) - Jimmy, a feisty white mountain goat, was crowned king of Ireland on Friday at one of the country's oldest fairs.

Dating back centuries, the Puck Fair is an annual festival of drinking, music and dancing celebrated in the town of Killorglin in southern Ireland.

Each year a male goat is caught in the surrounding mountains, paraded through the town to a beat of drums and pipes, and then placed in a 40-feet (12 metre) stand where he reigns as king for three days.

The origins of the fair are not totally known, but it always falls on August 10-12.

One theory suggests mountain goats alerted residents of the town to an impending attack by leader Oliver Cromwell's forces in the 17th century.

Another says it may have pre-Christian links due to the goat being a pagan fertility symbol like the god Pan.

"Its origins go way back to the mists of time," the fair's financial controller Declan Falvey told Reuters. "There is a mingling of fact and fantasy."

Around 100,000 to 150,000 visitors are expected to attend this year.

All hail Jimmy I, the goat-king of Ireland. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard recommend that Jimmy I not visit Tacoma, Washington on a goodwill tour, however.

TACOMA, Wash. - A man accused of having sex with a goat is scheduled to be arraigned on Friday on a animal cruelty charge. Charging papers say a witness saw 63-year-old Arthur Lawton having sex with a goat May 8th in a barn at Eatonville's Pioneer Farm Museum where he worked.

Lawton said he was trying to milk the goat.

We absolutely refuse to take the cheap shot here. Tempting as it is.