Lascaux Envy

The discovery of the Lascaux cave paintings showed that stone-age man had an artistic side. Many other sites with cave paintings have been found and documented over the years, but cave art was pretty well missing in Britain for some unknown reason. It's possible that British cavemen were busy doing other things or that they simply didn't have any discernible artistic talent. Who can say?

But intrepid British researchers now believe they have discover real, live cave art in Britain! The Daily Mail kindly provides pictures of the discovery and the scientist's interpretive sketch of what the art shows. Supposedly.

A 13,000-year-old carving discovered in an ancient cave is being hailed as one of the most significant examples of prehistoric art ever found in Britain.

The carving – a little larger than a man's hand – is only the second piece of representational cave art found in Britain which is contemporary with the golden age of cave art in Europe.

It was discovered in Gough's Cave at Cheddar Caves and Gorge, Somerset, by researchers from Bristol University.

Gough's Cave is the largest showcave at Cheddar and was home to Stone Age ancestors. It was re-discovered by Richard Gough in 1890.

Britain had a flourishing Stone Age culture but unlike prehistoric sites in France and Spain no cave paintings or carvings had been found until recently, when the discovery of Stone Age carvings of animals and humans at Cresswell Crags, near Sheffield in April 2003 launched a new hunt for prehistoric cave art.

All we can say is that if that's a mammoth, British caveman artists were apparently members of the toddler school of drawing. But we certainly do not want to rain on the British expert's parade. So we here at Blue Crab Boulevard have helpfully offered our assistance in interpreting the carving. Our photo experts at the Magic 8-Ball Photographic Interpretation Academy and Day Spa, LTD. have taken the relevant portion of the image and discovered what the artist was actually depicting. Here's the enlarged area of interest:

And here's our expert's interpretive drawing, clearly showing the correct animal and a human rider:

Which proves conclusively that Raquel Welch was right all along.