Daily Archives: August 22, 2007

Friends, Iowegians, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Arm. Or Leg.

Untitled document Police in Clear Lake, Iowa are asking the public for a leg up in an investigation. Someone has made off with and arm and a leg. Literally. CLEAR LAKE, Iowa – Police are looking for a hand — … Continue reading

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Zimbabwe Collapsing

Untitled document The annual inflation rate in Zimbabwe reached an unbelievable 7,251% with new figures finally released by the central bank. Prices in June alone rose by 86%. The government of Robert Mugabe had ceased publishing the inflation numbers, but international … Continue reading

Posted in World news | Comments Off on Zimbabwe Collapsing

Shhhhhh! They’re listening!

Untitled document Just when you thought it was safe to discuss the Animal Uprising™, we bring alarming news. The animal overlords, utilizing their gruesome genetic manipulation techniques have perfected a new listening device to eavesdrop on humans. Be afraid, you … Continue reading

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Winged Disaster

Untitled document Investigators of the Minneapolis bridge collapse appear to have determined at least a potential contributing factor to the disaster. Pigeons. ST. PAUL, Minn. – Pounded and strained by heavy traffic and weakened by missing bolts and cracking steel, … Continue reading

Posted in Animals | 6 Comments

The Nannies Of New York: Carmel Edition

Untitled document FREEZE! Step away from the donut, old man! Welcome to Carmel, New York. Do not feed the old people any donuts. CARMEL, N.Y. – Hoping to quell complaints about pastry paternalism, county officials have offered a limited comeback … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Ideas, Civilization, News | 2 Comments

The Case Of The Killer Cocktail Weenie

Untitled document It was a wild, tempestuous night, towards the beginning of August. Holmes and I sat together in silence all the evening, he engaged with a powerful lens deciphering the actual ingredients in a bottle of Vegemite, I deep … Continue reading

Posted in Crime, Holmes!, World news | 2 Comments

Well, It’s Back Off Again

Untitled document Clothing, that is. The town council of Brattleboro, Vermont has reversed itself and will let a ban on nudity expire. From comments made by one member of the "selectboard", as it is formally known, it is evident that … Continue reading

Posted in News | 4 Comments

Buffalo Rats

Untitled document Buffalo rats, won't you come out tonight? Come out tonight, Come out tonight? Buffalo rats, won't you come out tonight, And dance by the light of the moon. Only they aren't waiting for night. Rats are running amok … Continue reading

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Forget Alligators In The Sewers

Untitled document The stories have circulated for years, even before there was an internet. Giant alligators loose in the sewers of major cities. The stories have been widely debunked by the likes of legendary urban legend party pooper Snopes.com. But … Continue reading

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It Sucks. And That’s A Good Thing.

Untitled document The company that produces robot vacuum cleaners has just come out with two new models with greatly increased suction. The iRobot company has introduced the improved units and is hinting that new, amazing products will be introduced soon. … Continue reading

Posted in News | 4 Comments

Today’s Cringe

Untitled document Ok, all you male readers get ready for your daily dose of serious cringing. A woman in Russia, divorced but forced to remain in the same apartment with her ex-husband because of housing shortages settled an argument with … Continue reading

Posted in Weird Stuff, World news | 1 Comment

Democrats On The Defensive

Untitled document The Washington Post reports that Congressional Democrats have had a major surprise. They expected to go home for the August recess and pound on Republicans for supporting the war in Iraq. Instead, they are having to change their … Continue reading

Posted in Politics, War | 9 Comments

Rampaging Bulls

Untitled document Two bulls managed to work together and lift up one of the 100 pound steel panels that made up their enclosure and escape at the California State Fair. The bulls began rampaging through the grounds of the fair. … Continue reading

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Misleading Studies

Untitled document John Stossel takes on the claims that America's health care system is worse than others in the world. He makes a couple of extremely obvious points that expose the flaws in the much-quoted 2000 World Health Organization study. … Continue reading

Posted in Medicine | 2 Comments