Daily Archives: August 22, 2007

Friends, Iowegians, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Arm. Or Leg.

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Police in Clear Lake, Iowa are asking the public for a leg up in an investigation. Someone has made off with and arm and a leg. Literally. CLEAR LAKE, Iowa – Police are looking for a hand — well, actually … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime | Comments Off

Zimbabwe Collapsing

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

The annual inflation rate in Zimbabwe reached an unbelievable 7,251% with new figures finally released by the central bank. Prices in June alone rose by 86%. The government of Robert Mugabe had ceased publishing the inflation numbers, but international banking regulations … Continue reading →

Posted in World news | Comments Off

Shhhhhh! They’re listening!

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Just when you thought it was safe to discuss the Animal Uprising™, we bring alarming news. The animal overlords, utilizing their gruesome genetic manipulation techniques have perfected a new listening device to eavesdrop on humans. Be afraid, you never know … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | Comments Off

Winged Disaster

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Investigators of the Minneapolis bridge collapse appear to have determined at least a potential contributing factor to the disaster. Pigeons. ST. PAUL, Minn. – Pounded and strained by heavy traffic and weakened by missing bolts and cracking steel, the failed … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 6 Comments

The Nannies Of New York: Carmel Edition

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

FREEZE! Step away from the donut, old man! Welcome to Carmel, New York. Do not feed the old people any donuts. CARMEL, N.Y. – Hoping to quell complaints about pastry paternalism, county officials have offered a limited comeback for donated … Continue reading →

Posted in Bad Ideas, Civilization, News | 2 Comments

The Case Of The Killer Cocktail Weenie

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

It was a wild, tempestuous night, towards the beginning of August. Holmes and I sat together in silence all the evening, he engaged with a powerful lens deciphering the actual ingredients in a bottle of Vegemite, I deep into my … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Holmes!, World news | 2 Comments

Well, It’s Back Off Again

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Clothing, that is. The town council of Brattleboro, Vermont has reversed itself and will let a ban on nudity expire. From comments made by one member of the "selectboard", as it is formally known, it is evident that fuzzy thinking … Continue reading →

Posted in News | 4 Comments

Buffalo Rats

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Buffalo rats, won't you come out tonight? Come out tonight, Come out tonight? Buffalo rats, won't you come out tonight, And dance by the light of the moon. Only they aren't waiting for night. Rats are running amok in Buffalo, … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | Comments Off

Forget Alligators In The Sewers

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

The stories have circulated for years, even before there was an internet. Giant alligators loose in the sewers of major cities. The stories have been widely debunked by the likes of legendary urban legend party pooper Snopes.com. But that's ok, … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | Comments Off

It Sucks. And That’s A Good Thing.

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

The company that produces robot vacuum cleaners has just come out with two new models with greatly increased suction. The iRobot company has introduced the improved units and is hinting that new, amazing products will be introduced soon. Two new … Continue reading →

Posted in News | 4 Comments

Today’s Cringe

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Ok, all you male readers get ready for your daily dose of serious cringing. A woman in Russia, divorced but forced to remain in the same apartment with her ex-husband because of housing shortages settled an argument with the ex. … Continue reading →

Posted in Weird Stuff, World news | 1 Comment

Democrats On The Defensive

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

The Washington Post reports that Congressional Democrats have had a major surprise. They expected to go home for the August recess and pound on Republicans for supporting the war in Iraq. Instead, they are having to change their own stance … Continue reading →

Posted in Politics, War | 9 Comments

Rampaging Bulls

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

Two bulls managed to work together and lift up one of the 100 pound steel panels that made up their enclosure and escape at the California State Fair. The bulls began rampaging through the grounds of the fair. Bystanders scrambled … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | Comments Off

Misleading Studies

Posted on August 22, 2007 by Gaius

John Stossel takes on the claims that America's health care system is worse than others in the world. He makes a couple of extremely obvious points that expose the flaws in the much-quoted 2000 World Health Organization study. That is … Continue reading →

Posted in Medicine | 2 Comments