Ok, all you male readers get ready for your daily dose of serious cringing. A woman in Russia, divorced but forced to remain in the same apartment with her ex-husband because of housing shortages settled an argument with the ex. Yes, indeed she did. She set fire to the man's penis.
MOSCOW (Reuters) – A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said on Wednesday.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict".
The man, interviewed on Russian television, reports that his nether region was "flaming like a torch." Generally speaking, flambeing someone's privates is considered a fairly hostile action and we're against it on general principles. Particularly because of our personal plumbing arrangements. We sincerely hope the man has secured other living arrangements.
Excuse us a moment, we have to go hide all the flammable liquids in the house. Strictly as a precaution, of course.
Was it Linsayovich “Firecrotch” Lohanova?