We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have been documenting the savage aerial attacks of armor-plated prehistoric cruise missiles on the Suwannee River. The flying sturgeons have been rampaging down there for some time now, causing numerous injuries. We now have proof of who is behind this senseless violence. And it is not pretty, folks. You thought the Cold War was over, didn't you? Well, as if the recent resurgence of Russian bombers flying into British and American airspace wasn't provocative enough, we now know that Vladimir Putin is behind the savage sturgeon of the Suwannee!
MOSCOW (AFP) – Politicians love to be shown kissing babies, but Russian President Vladimir Putin took on an altogether more slippery customer Friday by puckering up for a fish.
The Kremlin leader, who is due to step down at the end of his second term next March, looked every bit the seasoned campaigner when he lifted the sturgeon at a fish farm in southern Russia and gave the creature a peck on the head.