A four-foot long caiman, cleverly disguised as a drainage ditch, had his nefarious plans to ambush children upset by a sharp-eyed school employee.
A school district employee found a 4-foot-long reptile in a flood control ditch near Grimmer Boulevard and Carol Avenue in Fremont on Monday afternoon.
The area is close to Irvington High School, and a preschool is also in the area.
Animal control officers responded to the scene and used a pole normally used to catch dogs to lasso the creature.
It was determined to be a caiman, which is a crocodilian reptile similar to an alligator.
Officers put the creature in a dog cage and took it to the Tri-City Animal Shelter on Stevenson Boulevard.
Obviously, the caiman was intent on catching some nice, fresh children (and high school age kids are very fresh these days). The Animal Uprising™ is ratcheting up the activities of the reptile legions. That isn't a good sign. Given the reptile's skill at disguising themselves as various odd things – like doormats and now ditches – you never know what innocent-looking object might be about to dine on you. We recommend doing what were here at Blue Crab Boulevard do. Always carry a nine-iron and shank any suspicious object. Or just do it at random. That keeps them guessing.
Some of those high-schoolers are so fresh you have to call them “rude”.
I do hope the pole used was an 11-footer. I wouldn’t touch a caiman, gator, or croc with a 10-foot pole.