Shanked In the Shank In The Swamp
A woman studying wetlands for an engineering company had an unpleasant introduction to one of the enforcers of the Animal Uprising™ earlier today. A deer stalked her in the swamp, then ran up and shanked her in the shank with a razor sharp antler.
SHANKSVILLE, Pa. - A woman studying wetlands for an engineering firm was gored by a deer at a hunting preserve. Jamie Detweiler, 35, of Ligonier, was gored in the leg when the buck charged her at 6 Springs Hunts near Shanksville on Wednesday.
She was taken to Memorial Medical Center in Johnstown, where officials would not release her condition.
Well of course they wouldn't. They don't want the deadly deer showing up to try to finish the job, do they? This is why we advise anyone heading into the swamps to wear full plate armor. Sadly, armor is awfully hard to swim in should you fall in. That's why so few who follow our advice come back from the swamps. On the bright side, we're leaving a lot of neat things for future archaeologists to find. Just a small public service to future generations.
By BlogDog, Thursday, 13 September , 2007 @ 8:02 pm
There is a certain irony in being gored in a wetland. As it were. So to speak.
By chuck, Thursday, 13 September , 2007 @ 10:17 pm
I believe Heinlein claimed one of his ancesters died wrestling a deer on a frozen lake. Here it is…
But do not assume that I will be the one extinct. My great-great-great-grandfather Lawrence Heinlein died prematurely at the age of ninety-seven, through having carelessly left his cabin one winter morning without his gun—and found a buck deer on the ice of his pond. Lack of his gun did not stop my triple-great-grandfather; this skinful of meat must not be allowed to escape. He went out on the ice and bulldogged the buck, quite successfully.
But in throwing the deer my ancestor slipped on the ice, went down, and a point of the buck’s rack stabbed between his ribs and pierced his heart.