Bobby’s Corner

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Gee, it sure is swell getting a chance to write all these letters to folks out there on the interwebby that tell the truth about what's really going on in my little worker's paradise, Zimbabwe. I've had a chance to tell folks about a real growth industry, a surplus in pet food and my great environmental cleanup efforts. Never let it be said that Robert Mugabe isn't helping to lead his country into a glorious future! I also have to thank this Blue Crab Boulevard blog for helping me get the real word out, even if it is run by a running dog imperialist lackey.

Today, I want to tell you about my latest economic initiative. I'm working on a great economic leap forward! Yes, I'm having my minions in the parliament pass a bill that will seize all the remaining foreign companies in Zimbabwe and give them all to my close friends! Isn't that a great idea. Why the last great grab, when I took all the land, has led us to an 80% unemployment level. With this new initiative, I'll be able to realize my longterm goal: total unemployment! We'll be number one in the world! Talk about progress.

Members of a parliamentary committee that is currently debating the controversial Indigenisation and Economic Empowerment bill were told that the proposed law was both ill-timed and outdated.

Cain Mpofu, chief executive of the Zimbabwe National Chamber of Commerce, said the correction of the historical imbalances should have been tackled by veteran President Robert Mugabe's government when the former British colony gained independence in 1980.

"It, however, must be appreciated that 27 years down the road there has been an evolution and there is now significant change in ownership of business in Zimbabwe," Mpofu told the MPs.

"The timing, therefore, does not appear appropriate for the following reasons: the economy is in a tail spin, international perception about proprietary rights protection in Zimbabwe is at its lowest and inflation is the highest in the world."

"There is a likelihood of a 30 percent drop in foreign direct investment following passage of the proposed act.

"A decline in gross domestic product is also to be anticipated after implementation of the indigenisation programme," he added.

Jack Murehwa, president of the Chamber of Mines, said the government should not try to force through changes of ownership.

"Government should facilitate the operations of the sector and not impose themselves on the sector operations," he said.

"Where ownership has to change hands, this should be on voluntary and fair market values."

(Those last two guys won't be granting any more interviews, I'm afraid.) Once my dream is realized, everyone in Zimbabwe will be a millionaire! And it will only cost about 50 cents in US currency to get your first million in Zimbabwean dollars! Foreign investors (and fellow socialists) will flock here to learn economics at my feet. Well, I've got to run, Mahmoud wants to talk to me about something or other.

Your Favorite Authoritarian,

Robert Mugabe

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