Fun And Games

The common-theme trifecta today would appear to be sex. First, an Australian man managed to avoid a jail sentence for a rather unusual burglary:

A court in the northern city of Brisbane heard how 27 year old Jamie Lacey, high on drugs, broke into the house in September 2004, scattering pornographic magazines around the bathroom and making a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove, the Brisbane Times reported.

Lacey was arrested in December 2006 after police matched DNA his DNA to that on the rubber glove, according to the Australian Associated Press.

A vacuum cleaner was also found in the bathroom, but the judge dismissed a defense submission that there was no proof the vacuum has been used for sexual purposes.

Ok, we have an idea of what the vacuum cleaner was used for: catching a dwarf. But a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove? We honestly do not want to know. Next up: it was the best of times, it was the wurst of times. A German butcher shop was asked to wrap an unusual package for delivery to Dubai.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said Wednesday.

"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.

The man had bought sausage, then returned later and asked the shop to package the meat for shipment. Employees called police when they realized there was something odd in the package. Does this make the man a hardened criminal? Last, but oh so not least: be very careful not to disturb the center of gravity in your moving SUV.

Joshua D. Frank, who had been living on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. He was fined $188.

Frank told Moscow police he was driving near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. According to a probable cause affidavit, he said the movement caused the SUV to become "tippy" and he lost control of it.

We'd recommend removing the trapeze.