Counterfeit Bison!

The herd of bison that roam about on Catalina Island of the coast of Southern California have just undergone genetic testing to determine whether they were authentic or not. Sadly, it turns out that the bison aren't exactly bison.

LOS ANGELES - Long thought to be purebred, the wild bison of Santa Catalina Island in fact have a little bit of cow in them, the first DNA analysis of the animals found. Nearly half of the 98 American bison shipped off the island in 2004 have cattle genes that were passed on through the mother. Catalina bison were believed to be purer than those on the mainland because they lived in isolation on the island since the 1920s.

"We were surprised because there's nothing cattle about them. They look like bison," said biologist Dennis Hedgecock of the University of Southern California, who co-authored the study.

The research done at USC and Texas A&M University appears in the latest issue of the journal Animal Genetics.

Scientists believe the crossbreeding occurred long before the bison were brought to Catalina Island. Hedgecock said the Catalina herd likely descended from animals on the famous Goodnight Ranch in Texas where cattle ranchers mated bison, also called buffalo, with cows to create a better beef animal. The ranch called the offspring of the union "cataloes."

Actually, we here at Blue Crab Boulevard have discovered the Real Truth® about the bison. Don't be buffaloed by those scientistical types. The knock-off bison were actually manufactured in China. We urge that they be tested to determine how much lead paint they contain.

A Tale Told By An Idiot

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
(William Shakespeare, Macbeth)

Jessie Macbeth has made a full and complete admission that he is a fraud and a liar in open court.

A Washington man, whose claims to have slaughtered civilians as a U.S. Army Ranger in Iraq were seen by millions on YouTube, admitted in federal court in Seattle today that he was a fake and a liar.

Jesse Adam Macbeth, 23, pleaded guilty to charges he faked his war record.

"He was in the Army for 40 days before he was kicked out of boot camp for being unfit," said U.S. Attorney Jeffrey C. Sullivan.  "He was never in Iraq."

Macbeth's story of killing men and women as they left a Baghdad mosque included claims that he was a U.S. Army Ranger and had received the Purple Heart for injuries suffered in combat in Iraq.

His interview was translated into Arabic and distributed in the Middle East, said the U.S. attorney.

That won't help much, but it is at least a start. ABC News is reporting that the government is actively going after fakers and frauds like Macbeth now, in an effort to keep scum like this from dishonoring real heroes. Good for them. Macbeth can pretend he's a tough special forces soldier in jail, where he'll be for five months.

Doing The Right Thing

Kevin Everett, the Buffalo Bill tight end who was severely injured in the season opener on September 9th has been transferred to a hospital in Houston. Doctors expect him to be walking in a few days. The transfer was done to bring him closer to his family.

Everett left Buffalo earlier Friday in a private plane. He was joined by his mother, Patricia Dugas, and taken to the hospital's Institute for Rehabilitation and Research. Dugas, wearing a white Bills jersey, declined to talk with reporters.

Everett spent two weeks at Buffalo's Millard Fillmore Gates Hospital after he was hurt making a tackle in the Bills' season opener against Denver on Sept. 9.

Initially fearing he would never walk again, doctors have since significantly upgraded their prognosis and plan to have Everett try to stand on his own in the next few days.

Dr. Barth Green, chairman of the neurological surgery department at the University of Miami school of medicine, said doctors are confident Everett could be walking within weeks if not sooner.

"They're very confident he'll be walking very soon … in the next days or weeks, not months," Green told The Associated Press on Thursday shortly after discussing Everett's condition with Bills orthopedic surgeon Dr. Andrew Cappuccino. "I think the future for him is very bright."

The Buffalo Bills front office are well aware of the fact that Everett will never play football again. But in a classy (and frankly smart) move, they put Everett on the injured reserve list. That qualifies him as a three-year veteran and vests him in the lifetime benefits package from the player's union.

The Art Of Being Stupid

Proving, once again, that going to college does not necessarily mean you're smart, an MIT student has just narrowly avoided being shot dead. Why? Well, because she wanted to wear her "art" in Boston's Logan Airport. Said "art" being a fake bomb. I really wish that I was making this up.

BOSTON - An MIT student wearing what turned out to be a fake bomb was arrested at gunpoint Friday at Logan International Airport and later claimed it was artwork, officials said.

Star Simpson, 19, had a computer circuit board and wiring in plain view over a black hooded sweat shirt she was wearing, said State Police Maj. Scott Pare, the commanding officer at the airport.

"She said that it was a piece of art and she wanted to stand out on career day," Pare said at a news conference. "She claims that it was just art, and that she was proud of the art and she wanted to display it."

Simpson was charged with disturbing the peace and possessing a hoax device, and was to be arraigned in East Boston District Court later Friday.

"I'm shocked and appalled that somebody would wear this type of device to an airport," Pare said.

Simpson was "extremely lucky she followed the instructions or deadly force would have been used," Pare said. "She's lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue."

Simpson is a Massachusetts Institute of Technology sophomore from Hawaii, officials said.

This was very close to being a Darwin Award. That anyone could be this stupid in this day and age is utterly appalling.

UPDATE: Here's the report from WBZ in Boston that includes video and photographs. Apparently, she also had a blog at some point, but that appears to be down - whether MIT took it offline or it crashed under load I have no idea.

UPDATE: Others: The Strata-Sphere, The Daily Gut, Jezebel, American Digest, Hub Politics, Hot Air, PoliBlog, Okie on the Lam, Boing Boing, Riehl World View, Wake up America, Pax Nortana,

Cataloging Hsu

NOTE: Important update at bottom. 

Wow, Flip Pidot has taken sole and complete ownership of the Norman Hsu investigation. Journalists could seriously learn from him. He has uncovered something that suddenly makes huge chunks of the Hsu mystery fall into place.

The mystery of Hsu's candidate slate is a vexing one.  Enlightenment, however, appears to be tucked away in a single transaction listed in a  NYC Campaign Finance Board disclosure.

Contributor: Norman Hsu
Employer: Next Components
Candidate: Christine Quinn
Amount: $4,950
Date: 6/5/07
Intermediary: Lillian Vernon

This is peculiar.  As an A-list Democratic fundraiser, Hsu is typically the bundler in these transactions, not the bundlee.  So what gives?

Lillian Vernon is a trinket catalog company, perhaps best known for its constant lampooning on Mad TV.  It was founded by Lillian Hochberg in Mount Vernon, NY (clever, eh?) in 1951.  Lillian's son Fred is the current CEO and his brother David is an executive at the company.

Oh, you really have to go over there and see where all that leads. I won't steal his thunder. Let's just say that a very large rock has just been turned over.

Extremely nice work, Flip.

UPDATE: Flip has issued a correction after being advised that some of his original information is incorrect. Lillian Vernon has contacted me directly as weel with the following email:

Good Afternoon:
 
This is to advise you that the  information you are referencing on Flip
regarding Lillian Vernon and Fred Hochberg is not accurate:
 
In the recent posting "Hsocking Hsu Secrets Revealed!" Fred Hochberg is
incorrectly identified as the "current CEO" of Lillian Vernon and his
brother David as "an executive at the company."

Fred Hochberg's last day with Lillian Vernon Corporation was more than
fourteen years ago: May 31, 1993. Mr. Hochberg was not CEO of the
company, though he did serve as President and C.O.O. before leaving to
pursue other interests. 

David Hochberg's affiliation with Lillian Vernon Corporation ended more
than two years ago.
 

Lillian Vernon Corporation was purchased by Ripplewood Holdings in 2003.
The company was subsequently sold more than a year ago to SunCapital
Partners.
 

Though Ms. Vernon acts as our chairman emeritus, neither she nor her
sons maintain any ownership of Lillian Vernon Corporation. 
 

Flip has been notified. 
 

Please clarify this information for your readers.
 
Philip Read
Public Relations Specialist
Lillian Vernon Corporation
2600 International Parkway
Virginia Beach, VA 23452
757-427-7923

Happy to do so, Mr. Read. There is no connection to Lillian Vernon, the company. There appears to be some connection to Lillian Vernon the person instead. I apologize for any confusion.

Ahmadinejad Does Columbia

The Columbia Spectator describes a meeting between student leaders and Columbia University President Lee Bollinger to discuss the invitation of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to speak there.

Nearly 50 student leaders and a dozen administrators sat down with University President Lee Bollinger for an hour on Thursday for a passionate yet civil discussion to air concerns about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s scheduled speech on campus on Monday.

When asked by Bollinger, student leaders overwhelmingly agreed that the event was in line with the academic purpose of the University, but several students expressed their disappointment in Bollinger’s handling of the invitation, with many airing concerns about student participation. Meanwhile, students began to solidify plans for a rally on Low Plaza this Monday.

Students’ concerns with the event included the logistics of establishing a rally on campus and the worry that lending Ahmadinejad a podium from which to speak would elevate and legitimize his views. Those in attendance expressed their greatest concerns regarding how students would be involved in the event itself.

“A girl came up to me after [a College Democrats meeting last night]—she was an Iranian student, an Iranian refugee, and she was near tears. She said, ‘I came to Columbia just for this moment, and I can’t believe the event is closed off before I can even register for it,’” Josh Lipsky, CC ’08 and president of the Columbia University College Democrats, said, while expressing his disappointment that only the most well-connected of students had been able to snatch up seats. He called on those in the room to give their seats to underclassmen.

Apparently, the academic purpose of the University is to provide good seats to see the holocaust denier. Ahmadinejad's government hangs gays. That's really something to want to get good seats for, too, right? Bollinger should ask for reciprocal good seating. It's only fair. Iran also arrests dogs (they are lucky they aren't gay, aren't they?). Maybe some good seats to watch that show could be negotiated as well.

Just remember, kids, fascism is always welcome at Columbia. And there will be good seats.

Roger Simon would like to know if Columbia would also welcome some other diverse views:

I have a question for the Columbia crowd, since Holocaust deniers are welcome, would you allow a speaker in favor of a return to black slavery?

Hey, they could ask for really good seats for that, too.

Fausta wonders why he was invited. I wouldn't count him out on his scholarship, Fausta. It take a lot of concentration to studiously deny the truth.

Michelle Malkin reports on some furious Columbia students who do not want good seats.

WHEN: Monday, September 24, 1:00-3:00
WHERE:
COLUMBIA STUDENTS (w/ Columbia ID’s): On campus, outside Lerner Hall
NON-COLUMBIA STUDENTS: The Columbia Gates. 116th and Broadway - we have secured a permit to stage a protest there.

WHO: YOU and your friends, along with Hillel, Hasbara, StandWithUs, Amcha, ZOA, The David Project, Columbia student groups, concerned citizens. Expected attendance is in the thousands.

WHY: Remember - the world is watching. This is a monumental opportunity to make our voices heard. Generations will ask us, What did we do to protest? Where were we?

That is the most hopeful thing I have seen about this whole thing.

Lowlife Lizards Lounge In Lancashire

The Blackpool airport in Lancashire was the scene of the latest depravity by the Animal Uprising™. Long known as masters of disguise, the reptile legions have reached a whole new level with their latest bit of creative camouflage. Iguanas disguised as a woman's bra is just over the top.

The green reptile was discovered when a police officer noticed something was moving under a woman's dress at the airport on Friday.

She was stopped and after a security guard found the iguana peeking out of her bra, she admitted it was hers.

Police said the woman, who agreed her pet could go to a new home at Blackpool Zoo, would not be prosecuted.

The iguana was led away humming something that sounded like "Thanks for the Memories." Although we may have spelled that last word wrong. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard always try to keep our readers abreast of the latest developments. So ladies, do check your bras to make sure there isn't some lowlife lizard lounging around in there.

Norman Hsu And A Corrupt System

The Federal government has filed new charges against Norman Hsu, as they promised yesterday. The complain paints an ugly picture of the bundling system for campaign cash. The potential for corruption is enormous.

The 16-page complaint, signed by an FBI agent, says that Hsu "pressured victims" into making the contributions "in an effort to raise his public profile and thereby convince more victims to invest in his fraudulent investment scheme." That scheme defrauded people across the United States of more than $60 million, it says.

At a news conference in New York, U.S. Attorney Michael Garcia said that although the scheme's overall purpose was to support a "lavish lifestyle," Hsu gave money to political candidates in an apparent attempt "to purchase a place on the celebrity campaign circuit," the Associated Press reported.

Neither Hsu, his attorneys or a publicist he has hired replied directly to the government's allegations. Spokesman Robert Emmers said only that Hsu is eager, first, to dispense with the legal entanglements stemming from Hsu's 15-year-old guilty plea to theft charges in California that arose from a similar investment scheme……..

………Campaign finance experts said that the ease with which Hsu turned a steady flow of campaign donations into access to presidential candidates, senators and other dignitaries — which in turn furthered his continuing solicitation of investors — offered a cautionary tale about the rising prominence of bundlers in the political process.

"We now have a dangerous and corrupting system at work in our presidential election in which the pressures of unlimited, arms-race spending has put the highest premium on presidential candidates finding bundlers who can raise huge amounts of money and the lowest premium on filtering out problematic bundlers," said Fred Wertheimer, president of Democracy 21, a group dedicated to campaign finance reform.

Every candidate should be wary of this system, but the exposure for Democrats, given their recent pledges to clean things up, is potentially greater. With new revelations yesterday that another Clinton bundler may have violated Federal law, her exposure is greatest of all.

Moose Dating Service

Waterford, New York is the home of an exciting new service. Wildly popular among young bull moose, the Waterford Moose Dating Service is now open for business.

WATERFORD, N.Y. — The 800-pound visitor made a few house calls Wednesday morning, causing quite the commotion in a typically quiet neighborhood.

"All we see is ducks, skunks and squirrels and stuff like that, but we've never see a moose over here…ever," said Cecelia Hines…….

……..After two attempts, officials on the scene finally able to tranquilize the moose.

And once he was down, it took quite a few people to pick him back up. And before the animal could be loaded onto the trailer, parts of the animal's antlers had to be taken off as a safety precaution.

"That was needed because there are air holes inside of the trailer, and as he came out we didn't want him to hook his antlers in the air holes," Henry said.

Officials say he wasn't hurt in the process, and though they aren't sure where exactly the animal will be released, they do have calls out to a regional wildlife manager, who is trying to find a spot with something special for this bull.

"Hopefully we'll take him to a place where he'll find a girlfriend,” Henry said.

As a general precaution, we would advise all people in the Waterford area to avoid using certain colognes. Waterford is planning on introducing an online service where lonely moose with internet access can exchange video greetings as well. The suggested eMooseHarmony name will probably get nixed by lawyers, though.

As a general precaution, we would advise all people in the Waterford area to avoid using certain colognes. Waterford is planning on introducing an online service where lonely moose with internet access can exchange video greetings as well. The suggested eMooseHarmony name will probably get nixed by lawyers, though.

Waiting For The Eruption

Charles Krauthammer looks at recent events in the Middle East and sees a single hand behind them all: Iran. That's something a lot of people have been saying for quite some time, of course, myself among them. But he likens the quickening pace of incidents to the rumblings of a volcano before it erupts. He does not think it will be very long before it does. He starts off with the recent Israeli airstrike on something in Syria, but pulls all the other loose threads together as well.

Apart from the usual suspects — Syria, Iran, Libya and Russia — only two countries registered strong protests to the Israeli strike: Turkey and North Korea. Turkey we can understand. Its military may have permitted Israel an overflight corridor without ever having told the Islamist civilian government. But North Korea? What business is this of North Korea's? Unless it was a North Korean facility being hit.

Which raises alarms for many reasons. First, it would undermine the whole North Korean disarmament process. Pyongyang might be selling its stuff to other rogue states or perhaps just temporarily hiding it abroad while permitting ostentatious inspections back home.

Second, there are ominous implications for the Middle East. Syria has long had chemical weapons — on Monday, Jane's Defence Weekly reported on an accident that killed dozens of Syrians and Iranians loading a nerve-gas warhead onto a Syrian missile — but Israel will not tolerate a nuclear Syria.

Tensions are already extremely high because of Iran's headlong rush to go nuclear. In fending off sanctions and possible military action, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has chosen a radically aggressive campaign to assemble, deploy, flaunt and partially activate Iran's proxies in the Arab Middle East:

There are rumblings from all around Israel. Hezbollah, Syria, Hamas as well as direct Iranian involvement. All pretty well unchallenged by the West. I have pointed out that I believe that the weak and ineffectual response by Europe and the US to Iranian provocation is making war more likely, not less. The only hope is real and effective sanctions. Not that such things would stop Ahmadinejad. He is, quite frankly, insane. He has openly expressed his desire to bring about an apocalypse. Once he has a bomb, he will use it. The result will be a disaster for the Middle East and for the world.

UPDATE: Thanks to Tobin Harshaw at the New York Times Opinionator blog for linking this. Tobin, I rather hope I am overstating it, but I'm also rather afraid that I am not.