Hey guys! It's me again, Bobby Mugabe, socialist icon and all-around great guy. Greetings to all my internet buddies who have been following my series of letters that tell the real truth about life in Zimbabwe, millionaire capitol of the world!
Well, I just wanted to write a short letter today to get the word out about what a fabulous job my Wildlife Management Authority officials are doing. Just the other day they saved a giraffe from some of my misguided citizens. The confused animal wandered into the southern suburbs of Harare and the locals thought it would be a nice treat fried up. But my steadfast officials stopped them in time.
Zimbabwe is suffering chronic food shortages and the animal protection society is investigating claims that a number of pets have been slaughtered.
It is not known how the stray giraffe ended up in the southern Seke district, Zimbabwe's Herald newspaper said, but police had to restrain those who wanted to kill the animal.
"We had to guard the animal until National Parks and Wildlife Management Authority officials arrived. Some villagers wanted to slaughter it so we had to remain here until it was taken to a safe place," one of the officers told the Herald……
…..It was not immediately clear where the giraffe was relocated.
You see the lies I have to put up with? Here I go and make sure the people have plenty of pet food and some busybodies want to investigate. So, anyway the officials managed to drive the greedy people back and saved the giraffe from being fried up. (Geeze. Everyone knows frying giraffe makes the meat tough.)
Hey, while we're on the subject, if any of my new internet buds are in the area, you're all invited over to my place tomorrow. We're having a little luau to inaugurate the new super-long barbecue pit. Stop on by. (But it's BYOB, kids. Even I have to keep expenses down, you know.)