A Mugging In Malaysia

A French woman touring a nature preserve in Malaysia got a bit more than she bargained for. She was mugged. The thief took her bag, her shoes, her socks and her pants. So, what, you say? Happens all the time. Well, no, not really.

Because the mugger was an orangutan.

The tourist, who asked to be identified only as Odile, was taking photographs Sunday of Delima — a female orangutan roaming free in Malaysia's Semenggoh Wildlife Center on Borneo island — when the animal grabbed at her backpack, said Wilfred Landong, chief park warden of Malaysia's Sarawak state.

They tussled over the bag and Delima ripped Odile's pants, Landong said.

"She had scratches and bruise marks on her knees and thighs," he said, adding that park rangers gave her medical treatment.

Odile said she had not tried to touch or otherwise harass the animal, saying she was only been trying to take its photo.

She said in an e-mail to the Associated Press that she'd let Delima have her bag after the orangutan grabbed it and then apparently searched it for something to eat, but found nothing.

She referred to Delima as "he."

"He took my shoes and socks off, and then tried to take off my trousers," Odile wrote. "As he couldn't with his hands only, he tried with his teeth and that's when I got bitten. As soon as he got my trousers he went away."

Authorities are now looking for a well-dressed orangutan. However, we here at Blue Crab Boulevard have ascertained that the search is futile. The orangutan used the woman's credit cards and booked a flight to Tennessee. We believe she may be going there to confront Al Gore about the genocide of orangutans his global warming hysterics are promoting.

We can but hope.