Bobby’s Corner: Great Economic News

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Hey guys! It's me, socialist icon, tireless campaigner for humanity and all-around nice guy, Bobby Mugabe. I have more great news after my speech to the UN where I got to accuse BushCo of all kinds of things, just like my fellows there in the United States! Solidarity forever, Kidz! Anyway, I gleaned a lot of useful stuff from some US websites to use in my speech. I,m sure a lot of you Bush haters felt your lips moving when you listened in rapt attention to what I had to say. Which I'm sure you did.

Anywho, let's get on with the great news. We've managed to reach another milestone ahead of schedule! My grand economic plan is almost completed. I got that new law passed (like that was hard with those rubber stamps in the parliament!) where we get to take all the Western assets left in the country and pass them out like Halloween candy to loyal supporters! Now we'll finally reach that special goal: 100% unemployment!

Even better, we've also managed to reach another environmental goal. (I know a lot of my friends in the west have been playing up the environment, pretending they really care about it. You guys are great at that scam, really.) So I wanted to pass along that we managed to reduce our population from 12 million to just 8 million in only seven years! (I told you there were business opportunities here!). Oh sure, some are still alive despite all the AIDS patients we "cure" each month , but they live in South Africa now. Not my problem, man! But I have bragging rights for having eased the strain on natural resources! See, I can do it just like you guys do.

Well, I have to go talk to Mahmoud and give him a high five for the way he sandbagged that guy at Columbia. What a card he is. You guys keep up the good work of ignoring Zimbabwe (and Burma now, too) and keep the pressure off me, 'K?

Dictatorially yours,

Robert Mugabe

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2 Responses to Bobby’s Corner: Great Economic News

  1. syn says:

    ‘we managed to reduce our population from 12 million to just 8 million in only 7 years’

    Isn’t this Western Environmentalism’s policy, a reduced population leaves less of a carbon footprint?

  2. Gaius says:

    Yep, Bobby’s reducing hell out of Zimbabwe’s carbon footprint.

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