If This Is Thursday, This Must Be Turtle Day

We have a turtle trifecta today! First it was the earlier item about the snapping turtle in a British pond. Well, it was in the pond, now it's in a turtle soup kitchen, so to speak. No, we don't mean it is being made into soup, it is in a shelter getting three squares a day. Now we see that turtle and raise it by two. Two heads, that is.

PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. — A rare and bizarre creature has made its way from Florida to a Pennsylvania aquarium store. The two-headed turtle has a head on each side of its shell.

The creature also has four front legs and two back legs.

Experts said the yet-to-be-named reptile is just an odd freak of nature.

Hmmph. Shows how much the media knows. Obviously, this is a bit of genetic engineering by the Animal Uprising™. These dreaded "duo-turtles" will soon be eating twice their weight in food daily. And when they reach full growth, they'll be able to swallow human swimmers in two bites - at the same time!

Moving right along, college students in Florida went searching for turtle nests at the seashore. They didn't find any. But they did find copious quantities of pot.

The students, who follow crawl signs to locate and protect nests, discovered plastic bags of marijuana washed ashore at the north end of the barrier island, said Julie Meeks, acting superintendent at the national seashore. The drugs were turned over to the Camden County Sheriff's Office because the National Park Service has no secure storage facility to hold the estimated 30 to 40 pounds of marijuana, Meeks said.

"All indications were the bags were not in the water that long," Meeks said.

Since the discovery, however, Meeks said more plastic bags containing marijuana have washed ashore "all over the island," including three more bags Thursday after high tide.

We're pretty sure that was the turtle's stash the students found.