A former co-worker sent this to me. This will floor you. Every, single thing a Mom says in a day - condensed to under three minutes. It is spot on and it's funny as all get out.
It is performed by Anita Renfroe who has a website. This one made my day. (The lyrics to this are here at YouTube. You'll laugh. Then you'll realize Mom was right!)
Humor, Video | Gaius Friday, 5 October , 2007 | 
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The Associated Press hacks up a feature article on Ernesto "Che" Guevara, managing to mention a very little about his penchant for murderous thuggery while giving ample time to people who praise him. Like soon-to-be-dead Fidel Castro.
SANTA CRUZ, Bolivia - Fidel Castro insists Ernesto "Che" Guevara could never have been taken prisoner 40 years ago if his gun hadn't malfunctioned. But the retired Bolivian general who led the mission to capture him says the Argentine revolutionary was hardly a heroic figure in his final moments.
The man that Gen. Gary Prado remembers — sad, sick, hungry, dressed in rags and alone in the jungle — simply dropped his gun and surrendered, saying, "Don't shoot, I'm Che."
"He wasn't the figure of the heroic guerrilla," Prado recalled in an interview with The Associated Press Thursday night.
Decades after he gave up a comfortable middle class life in Argentina to foment armed rebellion, Guevara still inspires and infuriates people around the world.
He is an icon for fans who have made his death scene a tourist trap. His face is instantly recognizable, a one-dimensional image on posters and T-shirts that either celebrate or mock his revolutionary ideals.
Prado is bitter that Guevara still gets so much global attention four decades later. He's angry that Bolivia's leftist President Evo Morales plans to honor Guevara but not the 55 soldiers who died putting down his attempted revolution in Bolivia.
Che "wasn't someone to inspire terror or anything, but simply to be pitied," he said.
Castro has put a noble spin on the death of his fellow revolutionary and close friend, calling Guevara "not a man who could have been taken prisoner" with a working gun.
"Wounded and without a weapon they were able to hold him and take him to a small town nearby, La Higuera," Castro told Spanish writer Ignacio Ramonet for the book "100 Hours with Fidel."
"The following day, October 9, 1967, at noon, they executed him in cold blood," Castro said.
Wikipedia says this:
He was appointed commander of the La Cabaña Fortress prison, and during his five-month tenure in that post (January 2 through June 12, 1959),[28] he oversaw the trial and execution of many people, among whom were former Batista regime officials and members of the "Bureau for the Repression of Communist Activities" (a unit of the secret police known by its Spanish acronym BRAC). José Vilasuso, an attorney who worked under Guevara at La Cabaña preparing indictments, said that these were lawless proceedings where "the facts were judged without any consideration to general juridical principles" and the findings were pre-determined by Guevara.[29][30] It is estimated that between 156 and 550 people were executed on Guevara's extra-judicial orders during this time.[31]
Paul Berman says this about Che while reviewing the movie made about him by a fawning Hollywood, The Motorcycle Diaries:
The cult of Ernesto Che Guevara is an episode in the moral callousness of our time. Che was a totalitarian. He achieved nothing but disaster. Many of the early leaders of the Cuban Revolution favored a democratic or democratic-socialist direction for the new Cuba. But Che was a mainstay of the hardline pro-Soviet faction, and his faction won. Che presided over the Cuban Revolution's first firing squads. He founded Cuba's "labor camp" system—the system that was eventually employed to incarcerate gays, dissidents, and AIDS victims. To get himself killed, and to get a lot of other people killed, was central to Che's imagination.
Che built up a myth around himself as a hard driving revolutionary yearning for a glamorous death. It is somehow proper then that he ended by saying, "Don't shoot."
The Times of London is carrying a report that they interviewed two leaders of the uprising against the military junta in Burma who are on the run from the forces hunting them. They have some choice words for the United Nations.
Two activists who spoke to The Times from their hideout in Burma’s southern Mon state called on the international community to apply greater pressure to the military Government of General Than Shwe to release their leaders, who were snatched from their homes during the demonstrations.
They denounced the United Nations, and its special envoy, Ibrahim Gambari, for cosying up to the junta. “We hoped for so much and what we feel is that he achieved nothing,” said a female activist, who identified herself by the name Khaind.
“He should have visited the places of the demonstrations — like Pakkoku [where Burmese monks first demonstrated] and the Shwedagon Pagoda. He should have visited Insein Prison [in Rangoon], then he would have seen the truth.
“He should have demanded that our leaders, the political prisoners, were released. We’ve made a lot of sacrifices and many people have been killed and it’s not right for him to come and see just what the junta wants him to see.”
Ms Khaind slipped past police checkpoints to escape from Rangoon last Saturday, accompanied by Myint Htoo Aung and another male colleague, all veterans of the so-called 1988 Generation, which first rallied against the junta 20 years ago.
They claimed that they were involved in organising demonstrations last Thursday close to Rangoon’s Sule Pagoda, where unarmed protesters were fired on with smoke bombs, rubber bullets and live rounds. A Japanese photographer was shot dead during the protest.
Both Mr Myint Htoo Aung and Ms Khaind insisted that the number of demonstrators killed was far higher than the figure of 13 admitted to by the ruling junta.
Hey, be fair here. Gambari was visiting a trade seminar put on by the European Union while the junta was cracking skulls. A man can't be in two places at once. And the UN is wringing its hands twice before enabling the next human rights crisis. </sarcasm> The UN envoy has arranged a meeting between the junta and the leader of the opposition party, Aung San Suu Kyi. That is the sum total of the progress they have made. The activists the Times interviewed didn't think much of that, either.
The activists interviewed by The Times denounced the proposal as a ploy intended to buy time and damp down international pressure. “This is just a trick to prolong the situation, so the world will calm down,” Ms Khaind, her voice trembling with emotion, said. “Every day in the news new things come along. One day there’s a bomb in Iraq, then there’s an airplane crash. They’re just making time so that people’s attention is diverted. If they’re going to talk, why not talk now? If they’re going to release prisoners, do it now? There is no reason to delay.”
The United States today again called for UN action, in the face of strong opposition from China and Russia.
The United States threatened to introduce a resolution seeking sanctions, including an arms embargo, against Myanmar if it does not move quickly toward national reconciliation and release thousands of detainees.
But China and Russia remain opposed to council action, saying the situation in Myanmar is an internal affair that does not threaten international peace and security.
The stories about Burma are already few and far between in the western press. The UN is wringing its hands and getting ready for its next round of enabling of tyrannical regimes. The EU is conducting trade seminars and setting up meetings with Robert Mugabe. Business as usual. And the junta continues hunting down dissidents while the west talks.
Porcine claim jumpers have invaded an upscale neighborhood in Michigan. The porky prowlers mysteriously appeared in Grand Rapids Township on Thursday and led perplexed pursuers on a wild chase. Well one of them did, anyway.
GRAND RAPIDS TOWNSHIP — As pig-headed as they come, one of two pot-bellied swine found Wednesday in a neighborhood along East Fulton Street wasn't going to give up his bacon to animal control officers.
Darting from under trees, around neatly kept lawns that surround $300,000 homes and eluding cops with nets, the 300-pound domesticated oinker left his best moves on the field before his capture.
"That pig put on quite a show and the whole neighborhood got in on the chase," said Wayne Blackwell, who reported the animals running loose around his Fox Point Court NE house. "It's not something you see every day, but it was fun while it lasted."
The pigs, believed to be escaped pets, remain holed up at the Kent County Animal Shelter. It's not clear what will happen to them if no one claims them, animal control officers said.
These piggish footpads were obviously casing the neighborhood for the Animal Uprising™. We fully expect to hear reports of pigs moving in to even more upscale neighborhoods soon.
….And asks the woman for a date. Sibu, an orangutan living at the Apenheul Primate Park in The Netherlands will not mate with any lady orangutans. He prefers tattooed blonde women instead.
Apenheul Primate Park hoped Sibu would become its breeding male when he arrived two years ago, but orangutans aren't his type.
"He chases them, or ignores them, but he doesn't do what he should do," said a spokeswoman for the park.
Instead, Sibu fancies his female keepers, especially blondes. That, the spokeswoman said, was common for orangutans but Sibu has a fetish for tattoos, harking back to a heavily tattooed keeper who reared him.
"orangutans have special interests in special subjects. Sibu happens to like tattoos," she said.
Well, they could always put a temporary tattoo and a blonde wig on a lady orangutan, couldn't they? Do we have to think of everything? We also strongly advise this woman to stay away from the Apenheul Primate Park. She is not only blonde and tattooed. She'd definitely give Sibu ideas.
The Order of the Knights Templar are about to be exonerated, posthumously, of heresy. In a new book about to be published by the Vatican's secret archive, a record of the Templar's trial in front of Pope Clement and includes the judgment of the Pope that the knights were not guilty. The record had been misfiled and lost for many years.
A new book, Processus contra Templarios, will be published by the Vatican's Secret Archive on Oct 25, and promises to restore the reputation of the Templars, whose leaders were burned as heretics when the order was dissolved in 1314.
The Knights Templar were a powerful and secretive group of warrior monks during the Middle Ages. Their secrecy has given birth to endless legends, including one that they guard the Holy Grail.
Recently, they have been featured in films including The Da Vinci Code and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
The Order was founded by Hugues de Payns, a French knight, after the First Crusade of 1099 to protect pilgrims on the road to Jerusalem. Its headquarters was the captured Al-Aqsa mosque on the Temple Mount, which lent the Templars their name.
But when Jerusalem fell to Muslim rule in 1244, rumours surfaced that the knights were heretics who worshipped idols in a secret initiation ceremony.
In 1307, King Philip IV "the Fair" of France, in desperate need of funds, ordered the arrest and torture of all Templars. After confessing various sins their leader, Jacques de Molay, was burnt at the stake.
Pope Clement V then dissolved the order and issued arrest warrants for all remaining members. Ever since, the Templars have been thought of as heretics.
Most histories I have seen on this event pretty much concluded that the whole thing was a money grab by King Philip IV, who needed funds desperately and happened to owe a lot of money to the Templars. But it's nice that the truth is finally out about it, even if it doesn't do the victims any good after all these years.
History | Gaius | Comments (9)
….And two to take 'em." That quote is widely - and probably wrongly - attributed to PT Barnum. But whoever said it tapped a real truth. The British retailer Boots appears to be in the latter group. It's selling a very classy, upscale and expensive "face spritz" that has exactly one ingredient:
The packaging for the Boots 'specially formulated' facial spray promised it would 'refresh and hydrate'.
The contents were 'hypoallergenic' and 'fragrance free', making them particularly suitable for people with sensitive skin.
While even the name - Boots Expert Sensitive Refreshing Facial Spritz - screamed science, safety and comfort.
Consequently, while the price tag of £3.99 seemed a little high for the small can, it was worth the money for the pick-me-up promised by the wonder potion.
Until, that is, it became clear that this 'specially formulated' spray was in fact was WATER - 100 per cent water and nothing else.
A look at the ingredients offers a rather brave, if naive, attempt to disguise its humble origins, by using the word 'aqua'.
Aqua, the latin for water, is commonly used in the beauty industry to describe what is a staple ingredient of most potions and lotions.
The product is part of the Boots Expert Range, described as 'the definitive answer to those everyday health and beauty problems we all suffer from, but keep putting off'.
If they'd been really smart they would have labeled the ingredient as dihydrogen monoxide. It would have baffled the reporter for ages. Meanwhile, we're brining out a line of 100% organic, vanilla-flavored pies. Hey, why should Boots make all the money?
UPDATE: The story appears to be a hoax. Thanks to DaveyP for pointing out the fact that the thehappyendingsfoundation.org website was registered by a company named ArtScience. That company happens to list A Series of Unfortunate Events as one of their clients.
A British parent's group is planning a series of book burnings across the country this fall. The "Bad Book Bonfires" will target books that the group is demanding that the government ban. Copies of religious books? Nope. Tomes on witchcraft? Not at all. Children's books discussing sexual orientation? No, those aren't the problem.
It's all the books that don't have happy endings. No, I am not making this up.
Children's books that don't have happy endings should be banned, it was claimed yesterday.
Youngsters are already exposed to enough misery in their lives and should be protected from such stories, says a parents' group.
The Happy Ending Foundation is planning a series of Bad Book Bonfires for later this month, when parents will be encouraged to burn novels with negative endings.
The foundation has also written to school librarians across the country to coincide with Children's Book Week, which began on Monday, urging them to take ' controversial' books off shelves.
Last night critics of the group said children needed a healthy balance in their reading.
Others said the book burnings were a sinister reminder of similar events in Nazi Germany.
Among the stories on the foundation's blacklist are best-sellers such as A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket and Marcus Pfister's Milo and the Magical Stones.
Works that make the approved list include Raymond
Brigg's The Snowman and Enid Blyton's Famous Five series.
The Snowman appears to have a sad ending because he melts, leaving the boy he has befriended alone. But the foundation claims it ends positively because the boy is contented, having the snowman's scarf to remember him by.
This is how insane the world is today. In some twisted minds, it is horrible to expose their little darlings to something that might make them sad. God help the victims of this kind of overzealous over-protection when the real world exerts itself. God help a nation that stands idly by while fringe groups like this torch books.
The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg was obviously never read by Adrienne Small, the founder of this dimwit marching society. It's not too late Ms. Small. (And it has an ending that doesn't involve melting snowmen and commemorative scarves.)
I think I'll start on a children's book. About a polar bear who meets and befriends a seal. They frolic and play. Then the bear realizes that he's hungry and that he's a bear. Whereupon the seal becomes the blue plate special. I'm sure Ms. Small's group of junior stormtroopers will burn that one.
Reuters reports that some people are refusing to be assimilated into the iBorg army of iPod users. And they report on a lot of competitors who have their sights set on knocking the ubiquitous music player from Apple (New motto: You will be assimilated. And you'll enjoy it. Or else.)
NEW YORK (Reuters) - When Marybeth Miller decided she wanted a digital player to carry around music from her massive collection, she had one important rule: no iPod.
"Everyone has an iPod. For some reason, I would rather find and purchase the 'hidden gem' MP3 player that is less popular," said Miller, a Wilmington, Delaware-based musician. "I don't like the idea that nearly everyone has an iPod. I feel this way about other things, too. I appreciate obscurity."
The good news is that for those wanting to steer clear of the legion of white headphones, there are several solid alternatives, from names such as SanDisk Corp (SNDK.O), Sony Corp (6758.T), Creative Technology Ltd (CREA.SI) and Microsoft Corp (MSFT.O).
Like "Livestrong" bracelets or Beanie Babies before them, iPods are everywhere — Apple Inc (AAPL.O) has sold more than 100 million. But it's just that ubiquity that makes some people want to avoid its digital bandwagon.
What is more, three out of four households still do not own a portable media player, studies show. That is why Apple rivals plan to take a bite out of the company's 70 percent market share.
Whether it is the shark jumping of the "iCar" talk or the overbearingly intrusive offers to download and install the latest Apple software (which invariably happens at the worst time and sometimes causes problems with other programs) or the just plain user-unfriendliness of their product, I really don't care for iPods. My daughter refused to get another one and now has another brand of music player entirely. When I went to get something for personal use, I ended up with a player from Phillips. Cheap and simple to use.
(Note; I'll see if I can find it online, but I read that the European Union was looking - hard - at Apple's dominance in the field with an eye toward anti-trust action.)
Reports from the southern Adirondack region in New York indicate that the rodent legions of the Animal Uprising™ are on the march and heading for the mountains. Unfortunately for local residents, the mice are about to go into winter quarters. In people's homes.
ALBANY, N.Y. - At the general store on Canada Lake in the southern Adirondacks, mice were the talk of the town this summer.
"My husband was buying mousetraps at the store and three people said, 'Do you have mice too?'" said Mary Cannon, secretary of the lake association on the body of water about 50 miles northwest of Albany. "We have over 300 families on the lake and I'll bet every one has been affected sometime this summer from excessive mice."
Now, with winter approaching, residents can expect to continue hearing the scratching of tiny feet as more of the destructive rodents move indoors to stay warm. A large berry and seed crop the mice feed on, a mild winter, and possibly fewer predators have all helped mice and other small critters thrive this year, researchers said.
"It's kind of the perfect storm, if you will, for mice," said biologist Charlotte Demers. "We're not talking plague proportions here or anything, but I think it was enough that we've gotten phone calls from a lot of local people."
At the Adirondack Ecological Center, run by the State University of New York's College of Environmental Science and Forestry, scientists say a high yield from beech trees, oaks, hickories, maples and conifers has helped propel the mouse population.
Demers said the rodents' high reproductive rates — four to six litters a year — along with a mild winter and dry spring have boosted survival rates.
We here at Blue Crab Boulevard strongly recommend that homeowners immediately form mouse posses and start rounding the critters up, like these guys:
And remember, flamethrowers can be your friend!
Note: Please remember that flamethrowers can be dangerous, so don't try them at home. Go to a friend's house.
Animals, Video | Gaius | Comments (7)
As expected, the three Duke University lacrosse players who were persecuted for "rape" by Durham DA Mike Nifong - despite their complete innocence - have filed suit against Nifong, the city of Durham and the police who investigated the case. This should be a walk.
The lawsuit calls the criminal case against Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty and Dave Evans was "one of the most chilling episodes of premeditated police, prosecutorial and scientific misconduct in modern American history."
The lawsuit seeks unspecified punitive and compensatory damages, attorneys fees and numerous reforms to the way the Durham Police Department handles criminal investigations.
The lawsuit was filed about a month after city officials met with lawyers for the families seeking a $30 million settlement and several legal reforms, two sources close to the case have told The Associated Press. The attorneys gave the city a month to respond or face a civil rights lawsuit.
In April, more than a year after a woman hired to perform as a stripper at a lacrosse team party told police she was raped, North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper declared the former players innocent victims of a "tragic rush to accuse."
In all, the lawsuit names Nifong and 13 other individual defendants, including former police chief Steven Chalmers, police investigators Benjamin Himan and Mark Gottlieb, and Brian Meehan — the director of DNA Security Inc., which conducted the DNA testing that proved key to unraveling the case. The lawsuit also names the Meehan's lab as a defendant.
The city would have been better off settling. They are going to lose this one and lose it badly. That's why Duke settled as fast as they did.
Legal | Gaius | Comments (2)
Code Pink has targeted a US Marine recruiting center in Berkeley, California for defacement. They are calling the Marine officer in charge of the office, Captain Richard Lund, a traitor.
(CBS) BERKELEY Marine Captain Richard Lund recruits college students and graduates as candidates for officer positions in the marines. But carrying out that job in Berkeley is not always an easy task.
He has listened to a variety of complaints from members of the anti-war group Code Pink in recent weeks.
"We are so shocked and horrified that the Marines have come to Berkeley to prey on our children," said Zanne Joi, a Code Pink member.
Last week, the Code Pink group protested by defacing the recruiting center and calling the recruiters liars.
Go watch the video. There is one woman toward the end of the tape who is disgusted by Code Pink's anti-American efforts. And, yes, I use that term for a reason. Whether or not you agree with the administration or the war, the United States Marines and all of the other branches of the armed forces are a necessity and a part of this nation. An attempt to shut them down is an attack on the very fabric of the country. I seldom use such terms here, as regular readers can attest. This time I believe it is the only term that applies.
Jim Hoft has part of an open letter from Captain Lund that he published in answer to Code Pink.
…Next, scrawled across the doorway to my office, you wrote, “Recruiters are Traitors.” Please explain this one. How exactly am I a traitor? Was I a traitor when I joined the Marine Corps all those years ago? Is every Marine, therefore, a traitor? Was I a traitor during my two stints in Iraq? Was I a traitor when I was delivering humanitarian aid to the victims of the tsunami in Sumatra? Or do you only consider me a traitor while I am on this job? The fact is, recruitment is and always has been a part of maintaining any military organization. In fact, recruitment is a necessity of any large organization. Large corporations have employees that recruit full-time. Even you, I’m sure, must expend some effort to recruit for Code Pink. So what, exactly, is it that makes me a traitor?
Jim has more of the letter and a link to the entire thing over at Gateway Pundit.
The Marines are part of the military that guarantees the right of Code Pink to act in the way they do and to say the things they do. Fine, they can do that even if they are ungrateful toward those who ensure their rights. But they have no right to shut down the free speech of Captain Lund or to limit access to the offices of a branch of the US military. The certainly have no right to vandalize property (and should be prosecuted as the common criminals they are for having done so). The Marines, Navy, Army and Air Force also guarantee me the right to call Code Pink what they are: anti-American.
And I thank them for that.
Crime, Left Wing | Gaius | Comments (5)
Peggy Noonan points out the trance the Democrats are in right now over the "inevitability" of Hillary! Clinton. She compares the two biggest political families of the past generation, the Bush and Clinton dynasties. And points out the massive problem this is causing.
Some Democrats seem proud they already know who their candidate is, unlike those messy Republicans who haven't been able to resolve the issue. But should it be resolved before people vote?…….
……. That to me gets to the heart of the problem and the heart of The Trance. Mrs. Clinton is so far ahead so early on for the same reason Mr. Bush was so far ahead so early on in 2000, and after only six years as governor, with no previous offices behind him.
It is the nature of modern politics. A political family gains allies–retainers, supporters, hangers-on, admirers, associates, in-house Machiavellis. The bigger the government, the more ways allies can be awarded, which binds them more closely. Your destiny is theirs. Members of the court recruit others. Money lines spread person to person, company to company, board to board, mover to mover.
The most important part is the money lines. Power is expensive. The second most important part is the word "winner." The Bushes are winners; the Clintons are winners. We know this, they've won. The Bushes are wired into the Republican money-line system; the Clintons are wired into the Democratic money-line system. For a generation, two generations now, they have had the same dynamics in play, only their friends are on the blue team, not the red, or the red, not the blue.
They are, both groups, up and ready and good to go every election cycle. They are machines. There are good people on each side, idealists, the hopeful, those convinced the triumph of their views will make our country better. And there are those on each side who are not so wonderful, not so well-meaning, not well-meaning at all. And some are idiots, but very comfortable ones.
The rush to try to be the first primary that the State legislatures have engaged in recently only makes this worse. It has the effect of making the candidate with the most money the sure thing to get the nod. There will be no surprises, there will be no dark horse candidates, there will be no brokered conventions. There will only be the trance of going through the motions to pick the best funded and most visible candidate. Is this good for the nation? Of course it isn't.
Clinton has already been tied to a massively corrupt fundraising figure, Norman Hsu. She has chosen to rehabilitate a convicted thief as an adviser, Sandy Berger. She has serious baggage. But she is "inevitable." And the trance goes on.
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