Conrad The Conquering Crocodile Stalks Bavaria
Conrad the Fierce is on the prowl through the Bavarian jungle, intent on eating his fill of Lederhosen. Or rather, the occupants of those short pants. Conrad means business. Why else would a crocodile move to Bavaria?
The hills are alive with the sound of snapping jaws as Conrad the crocodile goes hunting for supper in the jungleland of…Bavaria.
Last year it was a bear called Bruno in the sights of local hunters - now a croc is said to be stalking the south German countryside.
Signs up gone up saying "Warning - Crocodile Danger!" around ponds where the most lethal wildlife used to be catfish and pike.
Now the search is intensifying for Conrad - reputed to be up to two metres long - in water-filled quarries, meadows and lakes with firemen being called in to assist.
Last year Bruno, a brown bear that wandered across the Alps from Italy, was shot dead by a hunter after cutting a swathe of destruction through sheep herds, beehives and small villages in a chase that knocked the World Cup from newspaper headlines.
Now it is Conrad that has got the Germans on the run in the area around Schwarzenfeld.
Police are asking people to be careful and keep their eyes open for the crocodile following a a sighting on Tuesday.
"One man is absolutely convinced that it was a crocodile," said police spokesman Peter Kraemer.
We here at Blue Crab Boulevard, world renowned for our expertise in all things having to do with the reptile legions of the Animal Uprising™ are willing to offer our services to the Bavarian authorities absolutely free of charge. (And we'd tell them so if they would get their phones fixed. Every time we call, the connection is lost as soon as we tell them who's calling.) Our advice: leave copious quantities of the world famous Bavarian beer out for Conrad. After he's partied long enough in a crocodile version of Oktoberfest, he'll be easily captured.
We assume the authorities will take our advice as soon as possible. Which is why we're booking a flight at once. Conrad might miss some of the bait.
By john, Thursday, 18 October , 2007 @ 7:25 pm
If you like crocodile News, Perhaps you’ll like this. I made this video for the DIscovery channel. Send it to whomever may find it interesting… Thanks!
-JB
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7CV3PTIQsk
By Gaius, Thursday, 18 October , 2007 @ 7:54 pm
Inspired dementia, John. Bravo. I’ll post it.