Ultimate Weapon Unleashed
This is bad, folks. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard, the source for truth about the horrors of the Animal Uprising™, have never been more dismayed. Oh, we thought it was awful when the animal overlords set the toilet rats loose. That is a pretty awful weapon, you'll have to agree. Then they went even lower. Hot Tubbing rats were very bad, indeed. And toilet frogs are pure evil. (Invisible toilet frogs could be even worse.) But the masters of the Animal Uprising™ have now reached a level of such infamy that we simply cannot fathom any greater evil.
NEW YORK - There was no Halloween bogeyman in the closet for one Brooklyn woman — just a 7-foot-long python in her toilet. Nadege Brunacci was washing her hands in her bathroom before dawn Monday when she glanced back and saw the slithering serpent peeking out from her toilet, most of its body hidden in the pipes.
"I turned on the light and screamed," Brunacci, 38, told the New York Daily News. "It still makes my heart race."
Brunacci slammed down the lid, put a heavy box on top of the toilet and began calling for help, which came from her landlord and firefighters. Plumbers had to tear apart the downstairs neighbor's pipes to capture the snake, she said.
Ms. Brunacci, thoroughly traumatized, can no longer use the real toilet. She has to use her daughter's training toilet. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have also stopped using our toilets and have, in fact, poured cement into the bowls as a precautionary measure. We are currently looking for a new domicile as a result. Sigh. We always seem to be trying to sell on a falling market.
By mockinbrd, Thursday, 18 October , 2007 @ 3:49 pm
I have a 10 year old dubba wide you can use ’til your house sells. No pythons in the potty, but it does have a possum in the pantry.