Bobby’s Corner: Clearing The Air

Hey everyone! It's me again, your favorite socialist icon and all-around great guy, Bobby Mugabe. Yeah, I know it's been a while, but engineering a socialist revolution is time consuming work. I just thought I'd write another of my little letters about another great victory for the cause. I thought my billions of admirers would be thrilled with the latest, greatest news. We have reached a milestone today. The last foreign, imperialist, running dog capitalist lackey airline has finally left Zimbabwe! Isn't that great news?

British Airways flew out of Harare international airport yesterday, ending 62 years of service. The London-bound BA152 left with 200 passengers aboard the Boeing 777 without any acknowledgement of the occasion. The captain of the incoming flight from London had remarked over the intercom at how sad he felt not to be able to fly in and out of Harare any more.

Last month BA, the last foreign long-haul airline left in Zimbabwe, announced that it was ending its Harare service because it had been making “a considerable loss” that it could no longer sustain. The airline’s passenger numbers began to shrink in 2000 when President Mugabe launched his violent dispossession of white farmers.

“BA’s withdrawal is a major blow to what’s left of tourism,” said a tour company operator requesting anonymity. “Air Zimbabwe [the state-owned airline] cannot make up the numbers that BA was carrying. That means people will have to fly here via South Africa or one of the other neighbouring countries, and having to make multiple stopovers is a severe deterrent to travellers.”

In 1999 Harare airport was crowded with the emblems of 18 foreign airlines with Lufthansa, Air France and TAP Portugal also linking directly to Europe. BA was flying four consistently packed Boeing 747 jumbo jets to Harare four times a week.

Hey, so it's a bit more inconvenient to fly in or out of Zimbabwe right now. But I have some assurances from a wonderful holy woman that she is working on a new, never before seen technological marvel. We expect the new, goat-powered, super-jumbo people flier to be operational soon! All it will take, I am assured, is another $200 billion to get off the ground! Since $200 billion Zimbabwean is worth about 0.30 in American money, I think it's a real bargain!

Another great victory for socialism.

Dictatorially yours,

Robert Mugabe

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4 Responses to Bobby’s Corner: Clearing The Air

  1. crosspatch says:

    I just don’t get it. If Mugabe were to accidentally stumble in the middle of the night and just happen to hit a bullet with the middle of his forehead or something, would anyone really care to investigate? This is one of those situations where assassination should not only be allowed, it should be mandated with the UN Security Council holding a drawing of lots to see which country is tasked to perform the deed.

  2. Gaius says:

    Mugabe is a disaster. Zimbabwe will be the next Rwanda and not a finger will be raised or a thought wasted on the people there.

  3. mockinbird says:

    Crosspatch, we must never call it asassination. That is to say, Dear Leader Mugabe was “lead challenged during the night”. He was taken to hospital, and received fine Socialist Medical Care. He is now sleeping. He is now sleeping.

  4. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Bobby!
    Shut up and get back to work.

Comments are closed.