Trojan Moose

George Santayana famously said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." The Swedes have just proven the truth of that. They are building a Trojan Moose.

When completed, the 148-foot tall, 155-foot long moose will have a restaurant in its belly, as well as a concert hall, conference rooms and a shop, Thorbjorn Holmlund, project coordinator and local tourism promoter, said Thursday.

The monument will be so massive that its hooves will be firmly planted in two different counties, Vasterbotten and Norrbotten, about 540 miles north of Stockholm.

"The reason we decided to build a moose is because there is something magnificent about the animal. It's the king of the forest," Holmlund said.

The wooden moose is being financed by shadowy donors – they'll find out too late that it was the moose who were paying for it. We all know what will happen once the Trojan Moose is completed, don't we? Heavily armed moose will spring from the giant wooden moose, conquering the entire region. It's inevitable. Well, unless it turns out like another Trojan animal. Say a rabbit.

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4 Responses to Trojan Moose

  1. NortonPete says:

    I’ve always wondered how lame projects like these get started. Why would anyone be interested in listening to a concert inside a 15 story high wooden moose? This is actually the inverse to a trojan horse. The surprise is the ridiculous stucture. A flock of woodpeckers on them.

  2. Lars Walker says:

    It can only be an improvement from the present Swedish government.

  3. Rich Horton says:

    Finland should be afraid. Very afraid.

  4. Gaius says:

    They are. They’re afraid foolishness is contagious.

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