Ho, Ho, Hand It Over

Police in Poland are busy trying to locate a very bad Santa Claus. The unjolly old elf they seek robbed a village grocery store waiving what may have been a gun.

Witnesses of the hold-up Thursday in Ploty, northwest Poland, found it difficult to describe the robber who wore a Santa costume with a plastic face mask and long white beard, police said.

The thief gave his best wishes to the saleswoman before brandishing an item resembling a handgun and making off in a getaway car with several thousand zlotys (several hundred euros, dollars).

We're pretty sure it wasn't the real Santa Claus since a sleigh wasn't used for the getaway. And in other bad holiday cheer, a Salvation Army bell ringer at a Wal-Mart in Indiana used his break time to shoplift some festive Christmas ornaments. While caroling.

According to a probable cause affidavit filed by police, (Sean M.) Sayers was on his break as a bell ringer at a Wal-Mart in the city northeast of Indianapolis when he went inside the store and slipped about $20 worth of Christmas ornaments inside his jacket and a fast food bag. Police said he was singing the Christmas carol as he shoplifted the goods about 6 p.m. Wednesday.

He was singing The First Noel. If he was stuffing the ornaments into a fast food bag, wouldn't Away in a Big Mac be better?

  • By Mwalimu Daudi, Friday, 7 December , 2007 @ 6:42 pm

    Gaius, you obviously did not get the memo - “Ho ho ho” is now officially degrading towards women. And you know what that means?

    It’s Sensitivity Training Time!! Prepare to surrender your free will.

  • By Gaius, Friday, 7 December , 2007 @ 6:48 pm

    I did that years ago. I have kids.

  • By Mwalimu Daudi, Friday, 7 December , 2007 @ 7:07 pm

    Then I am quite certain that the millions (no, billions) who were mortally offended by your insensitivity will be mollified by a generous cash settlement.

    Please pay on your way out of kangaroo court. Small, unmarked bills only.

  • By NortonPete, Saturday, 8 December , 2007 @ 6:20 am

    I think its getting near the time to watch Billy Bob Thornton in “Bad Santa”. A horrible movie.

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