Self Delivering Christmas Dinner
An 83-year old man in Traverse City, Michigan got a special delivery Christmas dinner, right through the window of a third floor bedroom.
TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. - The noise that Chuck Ritter heard while sitting in his living room was a turkey that crashed through a third-story bedroom window. Ritter, 83, was relaxing Saturday when the uninvited guest arrived.
Ritter called Joe Battaglia, the on-call maintenance workers at his Traverse City apartment, and they tried to corral the 25-pound bird as it flapped around on the carpet amid blood and shards of glass.
After trying for quite some time to herd the ambulatory feast-to-be out the window with no luck, Ritter finally grabbed it by the neck and heaved it out the window. Ritter is now looking for a family to donate the now thoroughly tenderized fowl too. (Remember it was on the third floor.)
You realize what this means, of course. The Animal Uprising™ has perfected the guided turkey. Nobody has been able to do that before. Oh, sure, everyone knows that Benjamin Franklin lobbied for the turkey to be adopted as the national bird. But few remember him suggesting that the continental army use carrier turkeys to send messages. The idea was, of course, laughed at and resulted in "that turkey Ben" being sent to France, ostensibly to be an "ambassador."
By Mockin'bird, Tuesday, 11 December , 2007 @ 2:04 pm
Guided Turkey!
You just get better every day!