Tossing Tin Tuna

The collapse of the Commonwealth continues apace. Last year, the British town of Lyme Regis gave up the time honored tradition of "conger cuddling", where opponents attempted to beat one another senseless with dead eels.  Now Australia is about to do away with another tradition. Yes, sadly, the hurling of the frozen tuna is history.

It is the Aussie equivalent of tossing the caber, but an annual contest which involves the hurling of whole tuna will in future involve fake fish.

With world tuna stocks collapsing, Port Lincoln in South Australia has reluctantly concluded that its annual tuna tossing competition is too wasteful.

The whole frozen tuna that are normally tossed by burly local fishermen will be replaced with polyurethane replicas for next month’s Tunarama Festival.

"What happens when the tuna is tossed, even though it's frozen solid, it does start to break down," said Merriwyne Hore, the acting manager of the 2008 festival.

"The tail comes off, the fins come off, the eyes fall out and then the underbelly breaks, and, you know, it really gets to be extremely messy."

Well, the Mythbusters didn't have that problem with a frozen chicken. They fired one through several things. Well, actually, they pretty well vaporized the chicken, so maybe that doesn't count. On the other hand, moms everywhere have told their kids to stop playing with their food. Happily, Port Lincoln has a solution to their dilemma. They are now substituting a fake tuna for the real thing.

A local artist has sculpted the fake fish to look just like the real thing. "The dimensions are perfect," said Ms Hore.

"We road tested it with one of our champions.

"He had a few throws, and he was really impressed. It felt good, very balanced."

So if you happen to be in Port Lincoln for Tunarama, you may be greeted with a bouncing bogus bluefin.