If You Can’t Say Nothing, Say Something Bad

More and more I suspect that is the catch phrase of the media today. The New York Times is indulging in wailing and gnashing of teeth because spending this Christmas is only up 3.6%. Only? Had the reporter gotten a 3.6% raise, he would be doing a happy dance down Broadway.

American consumers, uneasy about the economy and unimpressed by the merchandise in stores, delivered the bleak holiday shopping season retailers had expected, if not feared, according to one early but influential projection.

Spending between Thanksgiving and Christmas rose just 3.6 percent over last year, the weakest performance in at least four years, according to MasterCard Advisors, a division of the credit card company. By comparison, sales grew 6.6 percent in 2006, and 8 percent in 2005.

“There was not a recipe for a pick up in sales growth,” said Michael McNamara, vice president of research and analysis at MasterCard Advisors, citing higher gas prices, a slowing housing market and a tight credit market.

Strong demand at the start of the season for a handful of must-have electronics, like digital frames and portable GPS navigation systems trailed off in December. And robust sales of luxury products could not make up for sluggish sales of jewelry and women’s clothing.

What did eventually sell was generally marked down — once, if not twice — which could hurt retailers’ profits in the final three months of year. “Stores are buying those sales at a cost,” said Sherif Mityas, a partner at the consulting firm A.T. Kearney, who specializes in retailing.

MasterCard’s SpendingPulse data, scheduled to be released Wednesday, cover the 32-day period between Nov. 23 and Dec. 24. It is based on purchases made by more than 300 million MasterCard debit and credit card users and broader estimates of spending with cash and checks. It encompasses sales at stores, on the Internet, of gift cards, gasoline and meals at restaurants.

The final numbers are in line with MasterCard’s already modest expectations, which were reduced in the middle of the season. But retail analysts and economists, who scrutinize holiday spending for clues about the health of the American economy, are unlikely to be impressed by the results.

Despite higher fuel costs - which impact all prices across the board - the sales still grew at 3.6%. I'd wager that there are economies on this planet that have not seen growth like this in a decade - but the media is desperate to flog a story about a disaster. Even if they have to make one up.

We have heard, pretty much endlessly, that housing is a disaster, that credit is a problem. Yet there is still evidence that the economy is growing. Just not fast enough to suit some analysts. And just slowly enough that a reporter can make a sow's ear out of a silk purse.

I’ll Have A Blue (Crab) Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone. Hopefully, everyone has had a wonderful Christmas. Around the Crabitat, the kids observed remarkable restraint and refrained from pounding on their poor, tired parent's door until there was at least a hint of dawn in the sky. That hint was probably at least three time zones to the east, but it's the thought that counts, right? 

My oldest boy wandered in when the younger ones were partway through the loot pile, barely avoiding being buried in flying wrapping paper due to some fancy footwork. But have no fear, he manfully dug in and did his part, adding to the wrapping paper blizzard until the gift drifts were reduced to the bare pavement of the carpet under the tree.

The newest addition to the Crabitat staff, a beagle-pug mix puppy named Lillian was actually the best behaved of the lot. She never attacked any of the children or gifts, no matter how much I encouraged her to do so. She's on my bad side right now as a result.

Once the looting was complete, I was informed by my oldest boy that he would be most pleased to stay and partake of Christmas dinner. Provided that I got to cooking it at once since he is now working nights. So, instead of that relaxing day I had fruitlessly planned, it was off to the kitchen to toss the rib roast into the oven. I did remember to use a pan, despite the lack of adequate coffee at that early hour.

To fill in the time, my better half observed that a family photograph would be nice. This hint being the equivalent of a royal command, we all dutifully got lined up, including the new puppy and the old cat. This was not easily done, since the old cat is extremely suspicious of the new puppy. The puppy, meanwhile, appears to be fascinated with exploring exactly how long she would survive in close proximity to the old cat. The consensus of opinion on this being that the correct answer is: "not long," we kept them as far apart as possible. This made for some interesting sounds from the cat that were not captured on film. But we got the pictures.

After the beast was roasted, the potatoes smashed, the green beans casseroled, the rolls - er - rolled, it was time for an uncharacteristically early dinner. Which disappeared in three blinks of the eye - I counted. Fortunately, there was at least a short ton of chocolate and other assorted treats to keep them occupied while I escaped.

All in all, a truly great Christmas Day here at the Crabitat. I hope yours was, too.

One Last Christmas Greeting

Friends of Chet Fitch were more than a little surprised when Christmas cards began arriving from him this year. Oh, the cards weren't all that unusual.

Except for the fact that Chet Fitch died in October.

The greeting read: "I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, 'Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don't (tarry) there.' Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.

"Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I'll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch"

A friend for nearly 25 years, Debbie Hansen Bernard said, "All I could think was, 'You little stinker.'"

"It was amazing," she said. "Just so Chet, always wanting to get the last laugh."

The mailing was a joke Fitch worked on for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, 57. She told the Ashland Daily Tidings this week that he kept updating the mailing list and giving her extra money when postal rates went up.

Fitch told Dean that he thought she'd finally be able to mail the cards this year. A week later, he passed away.

Christmas All Over

The New York Times has a slideshow of Christmas celebrations from all over the world.

“It’s Just Life, That’s What It Is. Just Life.”

The words of Ilda Ruth Southey reflecting on what wedding vows mean on the occasion of her 65th wedding anniversary - and also the occasion of her second, surprise Christmas Eve wedding to the same man, Francis Southey.

WATERFORD, Wis. - Some people get surprise birthday parties. Ilda Ruth Southey gets surprise weddings.

Twice in her life Southey was surprised with a wedding ceremony on Christmas Eve, both times to Francis Southey.

Her future husband planned their original wedding for Christmas Eve 1942 while he was stationed in Sherman, Texas, awaiting orders to ship off to Europe during World War II.

"I didn't know I was getting married, I just went to spend Christmas with him and I got down there, he had the wedding all arranged," said Ruth Southey, 85, who lives at the Waterford Senior Living facility.

On Monday, staff at the senior facility arranged the same surprise for their 65th anniversary. The couple renewed their vows in front of three generations of teary-eyed family and friends.

The first wedding almost didn't happen - Ilda Ruth had wanted a big wedding. But Francis convinced her to marry him anyway. And 65 years later they are still together. What a lovely story for Christmas. (Oddly enough, my wife and I were also married on Christmas Eve. I didn't surprise her with the wedding, but I did ambush her with the engagement ring shortly before we were married.)

Christmas Bonfire

Washington, DC is holding its annual Christmas "Ye Olde Yule Log" celebration. The name is not exactly accurate, however, as the Washington Post points out. Because at any one moment a couple of dozen huge tree stumps are burning, fed into the fire by forklift. The fire burns in a pit near the National Christmas Tree and draws large crowds nightly as it burns from December 7 to January 2 - the crown is primarily made up of locals, too, not tourists.

The National Park Service calls it "Ye Olde Yule Log," burning in a pit on the Ellipse near the National Christmas Tree, just down from the White House. But the phrase hardly captures the miracle of this holiday inferno. The first words uttered by so many new pilgrims to the blazing oasis show how much of our original selves we have lost:

"Is that fire . . . real?"

Yes, Virginia. The fire is real. Its very realness is one of the epiphanies of the national yule log. It burns continuously from Dec. 7 to Jan. 2, defying every instinct of the push-button, homeland security society.

Did we say yule log, as in the singular noun? Ha!

At any given moment, nearly two dozen stumps are ablaze, and they are monstrous. Some have the circumference of bass drums, the heft of small automobiles. Throwing another log on the fire requires a forklift.

The result is Fire — FIRE!– in all its primitive power to astonish, to reveal, to recall. Orange flames flap like mainsails beneath squalls of firefly sparks. Below, in the depths of the pit — brick-lined, roughly 8-by-12 feet and 5 feet deep — orange and blue cathedrals throb in the layers upon layers of winter fuel, each piece getting smaller, hotter and more fundamental.

The nightly crowd around the fire has more residents than tourists. That's how you know a Washington attraction is an insider's delight. All the faces are limned in flickering gold, overriding their natural skin colors, as if they had become one firelit race. At first everyone is mesmerized, just staring. Then there is murmuring, louder talking — English, Spanish, Chinese — some of it meant to be heard by the wider group. The Christmas bonfire is at once a solitary and communal experience. The flames ignite memory, spark speculation. Listen:

"You know that fire Grandpa used to have on his farm? This is like that."

"It's randomly dynamic."

"Do you know anything about chaos theory?"

"Where is Al Gore on this?"

You have to love that last quote. The wood burned in the fire comes from trees that have been marked as hazardous in parks and have been removed due to safety concerns. The crews from the National Park service tend the fire around the clock and actually even build it the old fashioned way - no lighter fluid, but kindling and matches. Here's a picture from Flickr.

Crowds In Bethlehem

In what one resident calls the best tourist year in the past seven years, thousands of tourists have flocked into Bethlehem for Christmas. The crowds visited churches and landmarks, local vendors of all sorts of things did a land office business and crowds thronged the town - all peascefully.

BETHLEHEM, West Bank, Dec. 24 — Encouraged by renewed peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians, Christian pilgrims from around the world converged on Jesus's traditional birthplace Monday to celebrate Christmas — a palpable contrast to the sparse crowds of recent years.

The diverse crowd included festive American tourists, clergymen in brown flowing robes and Palestinian scouts wearing kilts and playing bagpipes.

"I'm Catholic. I always wanted to see the beginning of Christianity, the whole history. It's something you grow up with," said Kristin Obeck, 37 and a schoolteacher from Richmond, Va….

…Vendors hawked beads, inflatable Santas, roasted peanuts, cotton candy, steamed corn and Turkish coffee while city residents watched the festivities from balconies and rooftops.

"This year is much better than the last seven years for tourism," said shopkeeper Jacques Aman, whose wooden handicrafts shop offered crosses, rosaries and Nativity scenes. "The atmosphere is better in general. There is relative calm, from the security standpoint."

There are the usual gibes in the report, but the fact is that it has been a better Christmas than Bethelehem and the people who live there have seen in a long time.