Bobby’s Corner: A New Milestone!

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Hey fellow socialists! It's me, your adored hero, Bobby Mugabe again. Yeah, I know it's been a while. But things get so busy sometimes running an anti-imperialist, new world order worker's paradise, its hard to take the time to send you all an update. But today, I made time to let you know about a significant milestone we have reached here. I have also set a new goal for my little socialist paradise that I think you'll all find exciting!

We have just issued the new, handy $10,000,000 bank note! Yes, I told you that everyone in Zimbabwe was now a millionaire, but this new note cuts down on the luggage space required to purchase something to eat. Like the other new milestone: the $15 million hamburger!

Forget the glitzy restaurants of New York and London: only in Zimbabwe would a hamburger actually cost millions of dollars.

The central bank of the southern African country has a issued a 10million Zimbabwe dollar note. The move increases the denomination of the nation's highest bank note more than tenfold.

Even so, a hamburger in an ordinary cafe in Zimbabwe costs 15 million Zimbabwe dollars.

The hope is that such a move will help end chronic cash shortages and disperse long, chaotic lines at banks and automated teller machines.

Reserve Bank Governor Gideon Gono said in a statement the 10 million Zimbabwe dollars notes will be issued along with 1 million and 5 million Zimbabwe dollars bills.

Previously, the highest existing note, introduced last month, was for 750,000 Zimbabwe dollars.

The new 10 million note is the equivalent of about £2 at the dominant black market exchange rate. A hamburger at an ordinary cafe costs about 15 million Zimbabwe dollars (£3).

That hamburger has trebled in price this month amid shortages of bread, meat and most basic goods.

Is this not wonderful news? Look at the progress we are making here! But as proud as I am about the wonderful changes I have brought about here, I will not rest until my new goal is realized. Remember that American hamburger chain that used to count how many hamburgers it had sold? They used to brag up "15 million served" and "100 million served" and so on. Well, they stopped counting those years ago and now say "billions and billions served." That gave me my new goal. I am directing every restaurant in the country to post a sign: "Billions and billions to BE served!"

God, I just love my ideas. I know you all do, too. Ta ta for now, kids. Fidel wants to play internet backgammon and he's on a losing streak. Maybe I can win the price of a burger off him.

Progressively yours,

Bobby Mugabe

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3 Responses to Bobby’s Corner: A New Milestone!

  1. NortonPete says:

    Hey Bobby, I just got an email from you saying that I have won the Zimbabwe national lottery for $100 million and I need to send you a check for $3000.00 to cover the costs of the bank transfer.
    Now I find out that its only worth about $50 bucks, hey, are you trying to rip me off dude?

    The sad side of this story is told by a friend whose brother had a productive farm in Rhodesia, employed over a hundred people and paid them well. He has left. He lost his farm and his employees are now penniless.

  2. Look at this quote from teh article:

    In August 2006, the central bank slashed three zeros from the nation’s old currency.

    Now check this out from January 1st of this year:
    Venezuela is launching a new currency with the new year, lopping off three zeros from denominations in a bid to simplify finances and boost confidence in a money that has been losing value due to high inflation.

    President Hugo Chavez’s government says the new currency – dubbed the “strong bolivar” – will make daily transactions easier and cure some accounting headaches.
    {emp. mine}

    Obviously (T)Hugo and his finance minister went to Uncle Bobby’s College of Advanced Economics. How long until the 10M Bolivar?

  3. Maggie says:

    Oh, hell! That does it! I ain’t moving to Zimbabwe now …

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