Hey fellow socialists! It's me, your adored hero, Bobby Mugabe again. Yeah, I know it's been a while. But things get so busy sometimes running an anti-imperialist, new world order worker's paradise, its hard to take the time to send you all an update. But today, I made time to let you know about a significant milestone we have reached here. I have also set a new goal for my little socialist paradise that I think you'll all find exciting!
We have just issued the new, handy $10,000,000 bank note! Yes, I told you that everyone in Zimbabwe was now a millionaire, but this new note cuts down on the luggage space required to purchase something to eat. Like the other new milestone: the $15 million hamburger!
Forget the glitzy restaurants of New York and London: only in Zimbabwe would a hamburger actually cost millions of dollars.
The central bank of the southern African country has a issued a 10million Zimbabwe dollar note. The move increases the denomination of the nation's highest bank note more than tenfold.
Even so, a hamburger in an ordinary cafe in Zimbabwe costs 15 million Zimbabwe dollars.
The hope is that such a move will help end chronic cash shortages and disperse long, chaotic lines at banks and automated teller machines.
Reserve Bank Governor Gideon Gono said in a statement the 10 million Zimbabwe dollars notes will be issued along with 1 million and 5 million Zimbabwe dollars bills.
Previously, the highest existing note, introduced last month, was for 750,000 Zimbabwe dollars.
The new 10 million note is the equivalent of about £2 at the dominant black market exchange rate. A hamburger at an ordinary cafe costs about 15 million Zimbabwe dollars (£3).
That hamburger has trebled in price this month amid shortages of bread, meat and most basic goods.
Is this not wonderful news? Look at the progress we are making here! But as proud as I am about the wonderful changes I have brought about here, I will not rest until my new goal is realized. Remember that American hamburger chain that used to count how many hamburgers it had sold? They used to brag up "15 million served" and "100 million served" and so on. Well, they stopped counting those years ago and now say "billions and billions served." That gave me my new goal. I am directing every restaurant in the country to post a sign: "Billions and billions to BE served!"
God, I just love my ideas. I know you all do, too. Ta ta for now, kids. Fidel wants to play internet backgammon and he's on a losing streak. Maybe I can win the price of a burger off him.