Hold The Lungs
Unless you happen to be of Scots descent, you may have missed the vast sound of wailing and lamentation on Friday. That was the annual wailing of the haggis, or what some people call "Burns Night." Now the annual celebration of the birth of Robert Burns has been going on for many years but the wailing about the haggis began in 1971. That's when the USDA banned the use of sheep lungs in food.
Thousands of Americans had to make do without the real thing Friday night when they sat down to what should have been a filling meal of boiled sheep's stomach stuffed with minced sheep lung, heart, liver and oatmeal.
Jan. 25 was the 248th anniversary of the birth of Scottish poet Robert Burns. (He wrote Auld Lang Syne, among other things.)
It's also the high holy day of haggis-eating worldwide. Thousands of "Burns Night" dinners are held wherever people of Scottish ancestry have landed. These evenings of food, whiskey and song traditionally reach their high point with the ceremonial carrying in of the haggis — preceded by a recitation of Burns' Ode to a Haggis and a bagpiper, if at all possible.
But American lovers of Burns and all things Scottish have had to make do with home-grown approximations for more than 30 years. True Scottish haggis, sheep lungs and all, hasn't been legal to import since 1971, when the U.S. Department of Agriculture banned the use of lungs in food.
Researchers found "stomach contents, lesions and bacteria" in lungs, says Amanda Eamich of the USDA's Food Safety Inspection Service. Since then, the USDA has considered them an adulterated food item.
The mad-cow disease outbreak in the United Kingdom in the 1980s put sheep stomach on the "out" list as well, because sheep get a form of mad cow called scrapie.
Sounds yummy. now you know why all Scots cuisine has the reputation of being based on a dare. But fear not, haggis lovers! USA Today reports that help is on the way!
Until then, they'll have to settle for other versions that are available in the USA. Some butchers make haggis, especially around Burns Night. And the folks at Caledonian Kitchen, a producer of all things Celtic in Lewisville, Texas, are "up to our eyeballs in haggis right now," says manager Jason Summerlin.
The company makes a popular canned haggis. But for this year's Burns Night, it sold 2,000 pounds of haggis in the past three weeks, says owner Jim Walters. Their frozen, 8-pound "presentation haggis" runs $85 plus up to $55 for shipping.
But it's not quite the real thing. Attuned to American tastes, the haggis is stuffed with 100% USDA Choice sirloin beef and beef liver, along with oats and beef suet. The closest they come to a "warm-reekin' rich" haggis, to use Burns' words, is a do-it-yourself haggis stuffing kit — cans of lamb haggis, a casing and instructions on how to steam it yourself. No lungs, though.
Canned, counterfeit haggis? A do-it-yourself haggis kit? What's the world of dare-based cuisine coming to? We here at Blue Crab Boulevard believe we have a solution: gamma radiation! If the haggis is irradiated, it won't matter what's in it! Now, some people will be frightened by the thought of a giant, glowing, radioactive haggis loping about the banquet room in search of a victim. But if enough good Scots whisky is applied beforehand, nobody will notice! Or they'll blame the whisky.
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Did you celebrate “Burns Night”? « Tizona’s Weblog — Monday, 28 January , 2008 @ 6:14 pm
By Mockinbird, Monday, 28 January , 2008 @ 1:11 pm
A glowin’ radioactive haggis!
Sir, you have too much spare time on your hands.
I do like the idea of sirloin and beef liver haggis, and, bourbon before the event, not Scotch.
By martian, Monday, 28 January , 2008 @ 2:21 pm
Keep the Haggis, just give me the Scotch - single malt preferably.
By terrence, Monday, 28 January , 2008 @ 2:53 pm
I am with martin. But, I do know a few people who love to eat haggis (I would rather not even think about it).
By N. O'Brain, Monday, 28 January , 2008 @ 6:22 pm
Being married to a Scottish lass, I am privy to one of lifes major mysteries: What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?
Insect repellant.