The Chopppers Of Waterloo
Napoleon breakfasted off silver at Le Caillou, the house where he had spent the night. When Soult suggested that Grouchy should be recalled to join the main force, Napoleon said, "Just because you have all been beaten by Wellington, you think he's a good general. I tell you Wellington is a bad general, the English are bad troops, and this affair is nothing more than eating breakfast."[27] Later, on being told by his brother, Jerome, of some gossip between British officers (overheard by a waiter at a lunch at 'King of Spain Inn' in Genappe) that the Prussians were to march over from Wavre, Napoleon declared that the Prussians would need at least two days to recover and would be dealt with by Grouchy.[28]Napoleon had delayed the start of the battle owing to the sodden ground, which would have made manoeuvring cavalry and artillery difficult. In addition, many of his forces had bivouacked well to the south of La Belle Alliance. At 10:00, in answer to a dispatch he had received from Grouchy six hours earlier, he sent a dispatch telling Grouchy to "head for Wavre [to Grouchy's north] in order to draw near to us [to the west of Grouchy]" and then "push before him" the Prussians to arrive at Waterloo "as soon as possible".[29]
Just then, however, the helicopter-borne troops of General George Patton swooped in like avenging angels. In the fierce fighting that ensued, some of Patton's troopers under the command of Ulysses S. Grant managed to snatch Napoleon's tea set.
Silly? Sure. But not as egregious as the British tour guide publishing company that has cheerfully written that the Duke of Wellington crossed the English Channel to battle King Harold at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. No, they really did.
As a prime minister and one of England's greatest generals, the Duke of Wellington had many claims to fame.
But fighting in the Battle of Hastings, more than 700 years before his birth, was not one of them.
So the good people of Battle, where William the Conqueror beat King Harold in 1066, were surprised to see a guide to the East Sussex town that included a gripping account of how the Duke had crossed the Channel to take part in the fighting.
In the Battle Town Map and Guide, a brief introduction to the East Sussex town describes how the Duke of Wellington crossed the channel in preparation for the famous showdown at Hastings.
But the bloody clash - which changed the course of British history and gave birth to the town itself - was nothing to do with the 18th century commander.
It was famously fought between William the Conqueror and King Harold, who was believed to have died during the battle after an arrow pierced his eye.
The Duke was not born until 1769 and went on to become one of Britain's most revered military leaders because of his successful campaign against Napoleon Bonaparte of France.
Much to the hilarity of Battle residents, the mistake appears to have slipped through the net because the guide was never proof-read.
Shop worker Emma Jewett, said: "I think it's quite funny. It's quite a big mess-up. Obviously someone didn't proof-read it properly."
Fred Carver, from the the Battle Museum of Local History, added: "I'm obviously living in the wrong place or time or we have been rather misguided in thinking William the Conqueror ever came here.
Well of course you're confused. It was actually Barney the Conqueror riding on Cecil the Seasick Sea Monster. It says so right in my guide book.
Humor, World news | Gaius Friday, 8 February , 2008
By NortonPete, Friday, 8 February , 2008 @ 8:04 pm
I worked with a Russian H1 visa who had spent time in Italy waiting to get a his visa (this was in years past). He was employed as a tour guide in Italy and was on a bus which catered to other Russian emigrants. He gleefully made up all kinds of stories as he passed notable Roman historical places. He only feared someone who had had such a good time that they took a second tour.
By Bleepless, Saturday, 9 February , 2008 @ 1:18 pm
I must scribble some notes. This might fit in my forthcoming book on the aftermath of the Ostrogoth conquest of Canada, when Cortez ordered Billy Mitchell to undertake his renowned submarine assault against Mongolia, just before Field Marshall Mohandas Gandhi fell on his Mauser and blew off his left ear.